#will reblog on monday morning too tho

[sayitaliano]

Sanremo 2023 - docu

On Monday April 10th, starting at 9:45 p.m. (GMT+2) on RAI1, Gianni Morandi will host a documentary called "Sanremo 2023 - Tra palco e realtà". It will last roughly 1 hour and a half, and if you won't be able to catch it live, I think you'll be able to watch it on Raiplay in the following days.

To watch it live (or not), you'll need an Italian Vpn. Click on the link I left above (for now you only find a short description of the documentary but on Monday you'll probably find a "watch" button as well) or click on the homepage (I think it will be the main program that night) or simply HERE (RAI1 streaming).

[thisismeracing]

King of my heart | MS47 | part. 16

Pairing: mick schumacher x hamilton!reader (she/her)

Warnings: curse words, mentions of food and alcohol, mentions of sex (no smut tho), tooth-rotting fluff, angsty, mentions of anxiety and break up, not proofread, etc, etc. Minors DNI!

word count: 5.2k

part. 15 | series masterlist | part 17 | taglist

Summary: Mick Schumacher rode a lousy wave for quite some time, so when the sky gets cleaner and the sun brighter he just knows something terrible may be in store for him. Whereas y/n was just so magnetic, and the possibilities of life with her seemed better than anything his mind could ever create, that’s why, for the first time in forever, he throws cautious carelessly through the window, hoping to get to the finish line before it catches up on him.

A/n: Finally this chapter is out!! Sorry for taking forever, I wanted to put as much info as possible on this so you guys could understand the bigger picture. Hopefully, you'll like it <3 I'll probably drop some extras during this week! Don't forget to reblog and leave a comment/ask *mwah*

Monday morning rolled around, and though Yn went to sleep alone, she woke up engulfed in Mick’s arms. He flew to Oklahoma right after the Monaco race in order to spend some time with Yn and Gina before his girlfriend had to leave for the UK, which would happen in about two days. 

“Morning,” Yn mumbled, eyes still closed, lips stretched in a lazy smile. She felt a giggle erupt when Mick's lips found her shoulders and neck, kissing and biting lightly while whispering his greetings to her.

“I’ve missed you,” the German confessed. 

“You saw me on Saturday,” Yn pointed, though she too had missed him.

“Yeah, but it was just that. We just saw each other in front of everyone. We didn’t get to spend much time in private,” which was true. “And now we only have two days together before you fly home,” Mick kissed her neck again, and Yn turned her body to face him. Her eyes scanned his tired appearance and messy hair. She threaded her fingers through his strands, and Mick almost purred like a cat getting the caress he waited for all day long. 

“Dad actually asked me to invite you…” she threaded carefully. Though she was friends with Corinna and Gina, and Mick knew Anthony and Lewis, they had never done something so intimate as a gathering of that sort. That was a step Yn wasn’t yet sure if Mick wanted to take.

“He invited me to his birthday?” he questioned, big blue eyes now open and staring right at the Hamilton. She nodded. “Would you like to have me there too?” 

Yn pursed her lips, traced Mick’s jaw with the point of her fingers, and then confided, “If it’s not too big of a step for you, I would love to have you there. My dad and my mom like you, and Lew likes you. It would be nice if you could come. It’s a small gathering. We usually just invite some of my parent’s closest friends, which are about ten people or so.” 

Mick smiles and dips his head to peck Yn’s lips in a gentle kiss. “It’s just the step I wanted to take, Schatz.”

She smiles and throws herself on top of Mick, hiding her face in the crook of his neck and preventing her lips to confess something her mind had yet to accept, but her heart was as sure as the daylight shining outside the windows.

When they emerged from the room, freshly showered, Gina was in the kitchen starting breakfast. She sent a big grin their way when she noticed the way Mick had his arms around Yn.

“I’m starting on pancakes, and I could use some help,” she throws an apron towards her brother, and Yn chuckles, escaping from his grasp and sitting on the counter, busying herself with chopping fruits for the toppings. 

“What do you think of pottery painting, Liebe?” Mick asked. The trio was now sitting at the outside table, breakfast ready in front of them.

Yn finished munching on a particularly sweet strawberry before smiling, “Sounds cool. I’ve never tried it though.” 

“But you’re good at painting, right? You design the shoes from your collections,” Gina comments, remembering a conversation they had about work a while back. Yn had mentioned how getting the idea and putting it into paper was fun, even better than getting the shoes on sometimes, she risked. 

“Yeah. Though I wouldn’t say I’m good with all kinds of paintings. It’s different to sketch shoes, to draw or paint the sky for example,” she explained cutting into the pile of pancakes Mick served her. “It sounds fun to try, are we doing it?” 

“It was Mick’s idea. We have some mugs and pots almost done. We have clay too if you want to learn proper pottering,” Gina suggested, and Yn smiled. 

“I’ll stay here for the rest of the month!!” she joked. “It’s been less than four days, and I already learned how to mount a horse, made strawberry jam from scratch, and now pottering?!”

Mick smiles proudly at his sister. Yn had called him to tell him how she learned a bit about horses, and he listened to her gush about how fun it was and how good of a teacher Gina was. He could tell their bond got stronger that weekend, and he was happy to watch it all unfold. His family meant the world to him, and the fact that seemed as enchanted with Yn as he was, just made it harder for him to hold back his tongue. 

As it turns out, it wouldn’t take long for Mick to spill what he’s been keeping since Friday. They started on the pottery later that day, just after lunch. Yn was sitting right beside him her curls were clipped behind her head so they wouldn’t fall into the ink. She was wearing a summer dress and the boots Gina got her. She was also wearing the prettiest smile Mick has ever seen and he couldn’t help but steal pecks from her every once in a while though they were with two friends around (all of which had taken a liking to Yn too). 

“Can I see the coffee mug you made me now?” Mick asked Yn for the tenth time, and Gina rolled her eyes, chuckling. 

“Can I see the one you made me?” she shot back, and his shoulders slumped.

“I told you I will show you later, Schatzi.”

“I told you I will show you later, babe,” Yn repeated, and it was Mick’s turn to playfully roll his eyes. She held him by the jaw and smacked a loud kiss on his cheek, accidentally smudging some painting on his face. 

Mick protested and everyone stopped to watch the interaction. Gina had a knowing smile on her face observing as her younger brother gave Yn the softest stare while she tried cleaning the green ink from his skin. He closed his eyes after a second or so when there wasn’t any smudge anymore, but Yn kept her hands on his face in a light caress before quickly pecking his lips and turning to her flower vase again.

“They’re in love,” one of Gina’s friends whispered, and the blonde nodded his head in agreement. Everyone could see it by now, and she suspected the couple could too. They were just afraid to admit it out loud. It was a matter of time, she thought. You can’t run and hide from a love like this. 

It was close to dinner time when Mick insisted on seeing his mug, and Yn gave in. In fact, he kept asking for it the whole day, curious and anxious around Yn, who could only roll her eyes playfully and tell him to wait. Hand in hand, they walked to the backyard porch where the mugs and vases were sitting in an attempt to dry a bit. Yn crouches down and grabs a white mug extending it in his direction. Mick gives her a questioning look, and she just smiles, waiting for him to grab the piece, which he does, and when his eyes find the bottom of the mug Yn watches how his semblance changes. His smile changed every muscle on his face, it showed perfectly his dimples and his pearly white teeth. He was so handsome.

At the bottom of the white mug, it was written, “I like you” in black ink. Mick turned the piece, finding yet another small addition right at the corner with light blue ink inside a heart doodle was his nickname “Mouse” in her handwriting. 

“I loved it! That’s so cool, Liebe. I- I really like you too,” he grinned, dipping his head to capture her lips in a quick kiss. Yn laced her hands on his shoulders and protested, deepening the caressing of their lips and tongues and only releasing him after the proper kiss. 

Mick smiled again, “Now, here’s mine,” he took the mug he perfected earlier and gave it to her. 

Yn noticed how he seemed a bit expectant. His hands tapped lightly at his sides while his eyes watched her every move. She gasped seeing the little doodles on the mug. There was a pair of heels, the China circuit - the weekend they kissed and made love for the first time-, there was an attempt at drawing the UK flag and then a small 44 beside a 47. 

“Mick, woah-” Yn started still stunned with how much effort he put into it. “This is so cool. I’m gonna keep it forever,” she beamed.

“Look inside too. The bottom,” Mick instructed, and Yn did just what he said.

She stopped for a second, noticing the writing right on the bottom of the mug. However, while the one she made for him read, “I like you” the one Mick made for her read, “Wanna be my girlfriend?” Yn looked from the mug to him at least three times. She was looking for confirmation that it was not a joke, though she knew he would never joke about it. 

“I think we silently settled for boyfriend and girlfriend, but I still wanted to make it official and ask you,” Mick explained. “So…will you be my girlfriend?” he asked, a small nervous smile in the corner of his lips. 

“I officially accept it,” she giggles before crashing their bodies into a hug. Mick’s arms are quick to lace around her waist, and he kisses her shoulder until they draw apart, and he can finally taste her lips. His free hand finds her jaw angling it towards him, and she smiles between the kiss. It was such a simple gesture, but still, it took time, and Mick put effort into making it for her when they had accepted that they were together. He still choose to show her he wanted all the steps with her, and Yn felt her stomach curl and her heart soften. 

Early in the morning of March 31st, Yn and Mick got to her parent's house. Lewis picked them up at the airport before going to the gym, and they took a nap for about two hours before getting up and ready to make breakfast. 

“Did you bring me the cookies I saw Gina posting you baked? Lewis inquired when he got to the kitchen. He was freshly showered and crouched down to pet Roscoe who was peacefully snoring by the table. 

“Good morning to you too,” Yn teased. “And you don’t even like that much sugar in the morning.” 

Lewis shrugs, drops a kiss on her cheeks when he passes her, and sits at the counter, “I wanted to have some today for a change.”

“She’s joking with you. We brought some, it’s in the fridge,” Mick passed the scrambled eggs to a plate before looking at the oldest Hamilton.

“That’s why she’s my favorite sister, man.”

“Isn’t her your only sister?” the German questioned, a confused frown on his features. 

The kitchen boomed with the siblings’ laughter, and Mick couldn’t help but follow.

“That’s exactly the answer I give her every time she says I’m her favorite brother.”

Yn rolled her eyes playfully and walked to the OG machine ready to start on the fresh juice, she stopped halfway to leave a peck on Mick’s shoulder, and he turned smiling at her. Mick was now gathering the ingredients which Lewis knew were a vegan pancake mix. Mick wasn’t vegan, but his sister was, and the fact that the German already knew how to make it for her stirred something inside him and made his lips curl with the ghost of a smile.

The oldest Hamilton watched everything attentively. It was still fairly new to have his teammate at his family’s house early in the morning cooking breakfast with his sister, though Lewis wasn’t really opposed to it, it felt different. But different in a good way, it could never feel weird or bad when Yn had the brightest smile on her face around him. It couldn’t feel bad or weird when his dad woke up to laughter, music, and a big breakfast table. Or when his mom seemed to be just as enchanted with Mick as everyone else in the house. It was like the painting had changed and the furniture was rearranged, it did not mean something bad, it just meant maybe you would have to readjust to a thing or two such as sharing your sister’s attention or suppressing the urge to protect her from everything even if this thing is not a bad one. 

The rest of the day went smoothly well, they ordered takeout for lunch and ate it outside in the backyard patio. They talked through snacks and started getting the house ready for the birthday dinner in the evening. Dinner, which was always prepared by Lewis and Yn, was a tradition since they were fifteen, and so this time it wouldn’t be any different, the siblings would just have an assistant around. And as it turns out, Mick was a great assistant, he chopped vegetables, and even attempted to season some things. Lewis would watch how the couple interacted around each other, how they shared quick glances, a kiss on the shoulder, arm, and forehead here and there, and how Mick would drop everything he was doing to look at Yn when she talked with him. He couldn’t help but let a small smile slip again, and he didn’t stop to think much about it, not until dinner time when everyone was gathered at the big table outside, talking, and drinking, and Mick was sharing his attention between a rice plate and one of Anthony’s friend. The German was removing all the raisins.

“Don’t you like raisins?” Lewis who was sitting in front of Mick, asked when his dad’s friend turned to talk to someone else.

Mick pointed behind his shoulders where Yn had disappeared just a minute ago to grab a new wine bottle, “Yn uh- Yn doesn’t.” 

“And you’re sorting for her?” The answer was obvious, but Lewis couldn’t help but ask. It was so automatic he almost felt disbelief watching the whole scene unfold. 

“Yeah, it’s no big deal,” Mick shrugged and gave the oldest Hamilton a small smile. 

Whenever they cooked rice Lewis would make sure to save her a portion without raisins, but he was distracted today, and he forgot to do so. He kept staring at his friend separating raisin by raisin from the rice grains, and if he ever doubted Mick’s feelings for his sister, at that moment his reluctance took off. Lewis knew how to spot small actions of love, he knew it because he saw it in his family, and he himself would do little things here and there for his sister, just like she would do for him. 

Mick was in love.

And Lewis was pretty sure Yn felt just the same. 

“You sorted my rice?!” Yn asked when she finally came back from inside the house and Mick gave her a small smile pushing the plate of plain rice in her direction. She beamed. “Thank you, Mouse,” she mouthed and laced her fingers with his on top of the table. 

“I’m glad you found each other,” Lewis confessed out loud to the couple.

“You sound like Dad telling me to keep him,” she joked, mentioning how their dad seemed to take a liking to Mick, and openly told them that he wanted him on his next birthday and that his daughter should keep him, ‘he’s a good guy’ Carmen, their mom, even added, to which Anthony answered ‘the best’. 

When Lewis was about to bite back, Anthony called the guests' attention to do one of his memorable discourses before they could finally dig into the food. He thanked his friends for being around for yet another celebration of his life, he thanked his kids, and Mick for the dinner, and he made a point of expressing how much he loved his family. It was a memorable and intimate dinner, and Yn was happy to have someone besides her brother to poke fun with. She never felt as surrounded by love as that night, and she didn’t know it at the time, but life could feel like that night almost every day, she just had to let herself experience it. 

And that she did, or she tried to.

Mick stayed at her house for sim work, her apartment was closer, and there was no reason for him to stay at a hotel when he could stay with her without raising attention since it was not race week. They basked each other's presence every possible second. It felt good, so good Mick flew back to the UK after the Spain GP. They decided to try and fly under the radar for a bit. All the speculation was leaving Yn anxious and exposing them both, so while the internet went crazy with Mick and Lewis together at Future’s concert and Yn’s Spotify account leaked, they were at Yn’s condo. Both of their phones were off, and that week they learned how to make pasta from scratch it took them almost the whole day, but it was all worth it when the food was ready, and they ate it together in her living room floor, flour all over their clothes, Mick’s cheeks flushed from laughing, Yn’s belly hurting from making fun of him. That week brought them the closeness needed to identify better when the other was anxious and what worked better to help them navigate it. 

Yn almost cried when Mick had to fly to Canada, and she had to stay in London because of work. He left little notes in hidden places that she would keep finding, and whenever she did she would text him. They were usually random questions that would bring a bigger subject to the table others were just Mick saying things he liked about her or little quirks he noticed and cherished. 

It was only three days, but three days too long. 

And when the Canadian GP came to an end Yn found Mick in Switzerland. 

They spent some days with Corinna and then all alone until the Austrian GP. Those two weeks were just what they needed to recharge for a bit. They played games, swam in Mick’s cold backyard pool (Mick even posted what Yn classified as a “thirst trap”), tried making pasta again, learned how to bake Yn’s favorite cake, discovered new songs together, and even started watching a TV show, the latter would always end up with the couple naked and tangled between the bedsheets or, depending on how eager they were, in the living room floor. 

When race weekend finally rolled around, Yn started self-doubting about attending it. Angie felt the shift in Yn’s posture. Her anxiety was easily detected while Mick was in the kitchen preparing lunch, so the dog took it as her job to try and calm Yn down. She lay beside Yn in bed and brought her favorite toys to her trying any available distraction. Angie licked Yn’s hands and finally settled for letting the human hold her. Minutes later, when Mick came to check the silent bedroom, he found Yn and Angie cuddled in bed, and he slipped beside them, holding his girlfriend close to his chest. She didn’t talk, and he didn’t ask, respecting her time, but holding her was enough, and she felt so relaxed to the point of falling asleep.

Their lunch plans ended up being dinner in the back area of the house, the sun bidding its goodbye as Mick and Yn quietly talked about life. 

Silverstone was only two days away when it all started crumbling down. Nothing seemed different, half of the week the couple spent together in London felt like the previous, just adding a bit more anxiety from Yn, but Mick guessed it was just home race nerves. And she confirmed it.

Yn confirmed it because she needed some time before opening up about the reason why she was a bit more anxious than usual. Home races meant the chances of finding her ex-boyfriend were higher, and she had been doing a good job of running away from him since the breakup. However, as it turned out, the biggest problem wasn’t finding Mason, but it was having her past relationship with him come to light stirring even more the internet.

One time you’re famous but hidden from the Hollywood tabloids and gossip, you have your own private life can go grocery shopping, you can go to the gym, can go for a run, can have dinner in a small restaurant, and can do it all without the fear of having someone with a camera pointed to your face recording a registering your every move, judging, talking, speculating. One time all your hard work and your success is your own merit, but the second there is a new hidden surname everything becomes about it. Suddenly you’re not your own person anymore, but you’re the versions everyone else created, and none of those versions take into consideration how it feels to have so many of your cherished secret things going around. That’s how Yn felt. That’s how she felt when things started getting out of control, that’s how she felt when paparazzi started showing up outside restaurants, and when people started not only speculating but mentioning her in these comments, asking questions, demanding answers. That’s how she felt when a breakup she tried so hard to forget came to life again.

She dated Mason for a little over a year, he was her first real boyfriend, and they met through mutual friends. He was climbing his way up to professional football, and Yn was giving her sweat and blood to make her own name. They clicked. He was cute, and he was fun. They started as friends, but it wasn’t long before she was rushing home with a silly smile on her face, running to call her brother and spill everything to him. What else could that crazy feeling be if not love? Her first love! 

How lucky would you have to be to find love at such a young age? 

Or rather, how unlucky, some would say. Because love would bring heartbreak along at some point. It was part of the equation, sometimes it would bring small everyday heartbreaks because when you are young everything feels amplified. A hug is not just a simple hug, it’s his hug, just like an unread message is not a simple unread message, because it’s all attached to him.

And Mason wasn’t a bad guy. Just like Yn wasn’t a bad girl. 

They were just too young, and too eager to love. Too eager to experience life, and to conquer it all, without the understanding that sometimes you gotta let go of one thing so you can grab the other with your two hands, or else you risk stumbling and dropping both. 

Maybe that’s what happened. 

Things started getting out of control, and what was supposed to be a young, healthy, and beautiful connection, ended up hurting both. A bunch of missed calls, forgotten dates, screaming matches, slamming doors, silent crying, and then, closing doors.

The last time they saw each other words were thrown recklessly. It felt weird, it took some time to move past it. One day they were together, used to seeing and rooting for the other, the next, they’re not talking anymore, and their friend group is messed up. One day they’re talking about the other at home, their parents asking, sharing, smiling, the next their names are forbidden, his team is hated, his number deleted. And although Lewis advised that it shouldn’t be like this, they needed closure, or else the ghost of the past would always hunt them, Yn could not listen, the noises of her heart shattering on the ground, breaking over and over again, were too loud. 

Mason took the same path as Yn. He focused on his career and every time he caught himself thinking how would it have been if she was there cheering for him, if maybe he had been more patient, if they had met later in life if they remained friends instead of getting romantically involved so soon, if, if, if, and if. And as it turns out putting yourself in the world of “what if?” where infinite possibilities are always there, and you can never be sure of an outcome, is cruel.  And nobody can be more cruel to you than yourself.

When Mick walked into Yn’s apartment that evening she knew that he knew about Mason. And she knew that she was about to be cruel to herself. 

He spent the whole day out training, he would be at the factory for sim work the next day, probably the whole day, even part of the night, but it was impossible not to know. Half of the world probably already did. Just as their eyes found the other Yn felt a new wave of sadness hit her body, she was sitting on the bedroom floor, back propped against the bed, head hanging between her knees. 

“Hey,” and his soft tone did nothing but cause another ripple in her chest. 

Yn shook her head, lips quivering. This was a different cry, nothing like the tears Mick had experienced with her before. “I just wanted an easy ride into a relationship. Instead, it’s like we crashed against each other, and now we have the whole world’s attention on us,” she sniffled a confession. 

“Hey,” he called again. “We did not crash, we’re here, I’m here, Schatzi,” Mick tried but Yn kept her eyes down, lips pulled between her teeth as if to feel something, anything but the pain on her chest. “Look at me, Yn,” the German tried, his tone worried. 

“How do you even want me to look at you after I caused all this damage? My life is exposed, your name is exposed, everything is chaotic in a way I’ve never experienced before,” she cried. “Aren’t you angry I’ve never mentioned Mason? Why are you here, Mick? You should hate me… at this point, so many people probably do,” her last sentence was a weak whisper as if her voice was losing force or she was telling herself a truth too hard to swallow, so she need to taste it before trying to shove it down her throat. 

Mick’s blue eyes are following her every move, he doesn’t know how to explain the mix of feelings inside him, but he does know it’s not hate, it’s far from it. He’s hurt, yes, but he’s also aware that maybe Yn just needed some time to come around and tell him, and Mason was her past, wasn’t he? He was the one with her now, he was the one watching her crumble and trying to pick the pieces and put them back together. 

“Why would I hate you, Liebling?” the pet name seemed to hit her somewhere where it hurt because her tears came down like waterfalls. His soft voice, his persistence, his presence, his existence, she felt undeserving of everything. “You did not tell me your ex-boyfriend happened to be a soccer player, so what? Maybe you needed time, maybe you would come around eventually, maybe it’s not my place to know every little thing so early in our relationship. You deserve your privacy and your own secrets, though I would like to be part of it, to know it. I wish you had told me, I am a bit hurt, I still don’t know, everything just happened, maybe I need time to process it and then decide how exactly I am feeling, but I don’t hate you.” He took a step towards her and Yn flinched, Mick stopped. “I could never hate you,” he whispers, and she gets up. She’s wearing one of his shirts, and Mick tries to tell himself that maybe that’s a sign, a message that without even noticing she’s reaching for him.

“I don’t want to keep you stuck, I don’t want to put you in the spot,” she starts, voice trembling, and Mick suddenly feels the room turn cold, his hands sweating, his heart clenching and fastening. “You gotta focus on getting your seat and I don't wanna come between that. I think I’ve been distracting you. We both need privacy too, we got too exposed,” it’s like these were ruminating thoughts in her head, things that had been hunting her before, and she’s voicing them, giving them enough strength to break her and him in the process. 

Mick's eyes widen, and he shakes his head vigorously, “I don’t care! Yn, babe, look at me!” he pleaded, “You’re not exposing me, and if you were, I don’t care about any of this media bullshit as long as I have you,” he confesses, there’s a tone of desperation on his voice. “And you’re not distracting me from my goals, far from it, I’ve never been so satisfied in a team, and with myself. I don’t care-”

“But I care about you, Mick!” She interrupts, her eyes finally finding him again, and Mick can almost hear both of their hearts hitting the floor. He can almost guess what’s coming next because sometimes that’s how it works: you try to protect someone, and you end up hurting them in the process. “That's the reason I’m breaking up with you,” she pushed, and he almost felt the invisible strength hit his body because he took two steps back until finally found his balance back. “because I love you,” and then she delivered the final blow. 

He laughed without humor, his own tears finally painting his cheeks, trailing the path to his jawline. Mick shook his head, “You don’t get to say you love me when you’re breaking up with me. That’s just cruel.”

Oh, if only he knew. 

“I’m sorry,” Yn wept. 

Mick tried walking to her, but Yn extended her hand in front of her body. She was well aware that if he held her, if he kissed her if he even so just brushed his fingers against her tears, he would probably change her mind. He would make her believe it wasn’t her fault, and he would go through hell for her, but she didn’t want him to. Yn did not want to see him face the cruel side of the world just to have love, the love that should be his painless, free, without any difficulties along the way. 

“Liebe,” he emphasized, his tears flowing and still doting his pretty face. “We gonna figure it out together, I won't let you go, you can have your time off. I don’t care how long, but I am not giving up.” His tone was set, his stance strong, though he was crying, and she could see part of him crumbling down at her feet. 

This time, when Mick walks to her, she can’t do anything but stay, feet planted on the ground, body aching for his touch. He holds her face between his big hands gently tipping it up. His ocean eyes look even more shiny and deep with tears. “We're just giving it time ok?” when her tears start again like an avalanche, Mick kisses each small drop before they fall down. She could almost taste his salty tears too, her lips brushing against his wet face with the proximity. 

Mick bumped her nose with his and caressed her cheeks just as he thought the battle was controlled, Yn jumped away from him and rushed outside the room. When the front door slammed shut, Mick could almost feel the whole house coming down on him. 

― ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: I know I left you guys hanging again, but I promise to try to be faster this time around! Don't forget to give me the fuel to be able to do it (aka reblogs and comments hehe) *mwah*

taglist: @sachaa-ff @ferrariloverr @kenanlotus0 @mellowpizzapuppy @mickslover @dalsuwaha @formulakay3 @mishaandthebrits @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @carojasmin2204 @fdl305 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @saintslewis @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @leclercsluv @babyiscrying @balekane_mohafe (let me know if your tag was supposed to be only for my other works and you don’t wanna be tagged on the series! &lt;;3)

[lazystar]

Play Like a Gangster

Lee Felix x Fem!Reader 

University AU, Bad Boy!Felix Other idols mentioned: Other SKZ members, ITZY, Lily of NMIXX, Soobin of TXT Warnings: Alcohol consumption, use of unhealthy coping skills, negative self-image on reader’s part, Felix being a slight ass, Miscommunication!!! ANGST!!! Comfort tho is there! Word Count: 5K+ (~5400?)

Obligatory Note: please show your support by giving my work a simple reblog :) this is how tumblr’s algorithm operates and is an easy way to show support to your favorite writers on this site! a “hey this is so good” comment also works :) Thanks!

Your first day of year four of university had finally arrived. The hot August air weighed you down like a blanket of humidity, your thighs chafing as they rubbed against one another at the hemline of your denim shorts. You had chosen your classic first day of fall semester fit, a logo tee from the bookstore, and a pair of shorts along with your Converse. Comfortable, easy to fish out of your still packed suitcase, and cute. 

Fishing your schedule from your student portal app on your phone, you found your first lecture of the day. To your horror and dismay it was a gen ed course you had been dreading, Statistics 101 with Professor Park. You abhorred math more than anything and even more so when you threw in the Greek alphabet. You huffed and walked faster to the lecture hall to get a good seat, and when you arrived you guessed every other student had the same idea because the only seat left was one in the middle of the hall next to an intimidating looking boy with a sharp jawline, silver earrings and dusty blue hair. He looked the complete opposite of you. He was in all black, black tee shirt, long black cargo pants decorated with chains, and black converse. The shoe choice was the only identical fashion choice you both had made. 

“You gonna keep analyzing my outfit like this shit is project runway or are you going to sit down?” His deep Australian accent cut you out of your thoughts. 

“Oh sorry! Ummm I’m sorry — I already said that didn’t I? Anyways I’m Y/N nice to meet ya…” You stuck a hand out to him after setting out your notebook and laptop.

“You are far too cheerful for a 10 AM math lecture. Anyways the name’s Felix, before you ask I’m a senior graphic design major this is just a gen ed for me.” He seemed to notice you deflate as he answered your icebreakers before you could ask. He let out an almost placating gruff laugh after his introduction.

“I’m a senior as well, music marketing major so as much as I wish this wasn’t a required gen ed for me it sadly is. I fucking HATE math!” You sighed as the professor walked into the room. You didn’t notice Felix smile at your extroverted behavior. He knew he was about to become your friend, not by his own accord but he knew that he was now the familiar face in your Monday-Wednesday-Friday morning hour of hell. The professor droned on about the usual syllabus week materials and you began doodling some new logo ideas for your friends’ music group on your notebook paper. Your dissociation was cut off by the professor clearing his throat with an announcement. 

“Okay everyone! This lecture has 100 students, and unfortunately for me the department requires us to have you all complete a semester long project going over a trend of choice through data analytics. So you all will be working with the person sitting directly to your right! No, don't go switching seats, I see you in the back row!” You laughed as your classmates groaned around you at the news of being involuntarily being partnered up. You looked to your right where Felix was already looking your way with a raised brow and a smirk gracing his freckled face. 

“Please tell me you won’t be as high energy all semester” Your new statistics partner sighed almost defeatedly. “Now hand me your phone so I can put my number in it so we can work on this shit or whatever.” You laughed at his statement and handed your phone over to him. 

“Felix, just for the record,  I’m gonna change your contact to Grumpy Pants if you keep acting like this.” You stated as you looked at him through your peripheral vision as he texted himself from your phone. 

“Okay Bubbles.” He chuckled, handing your phone back to you. He had simply texted himself a ��Hey :) – Bubbles’ making an involuntary grin stretch across your face as you turned to look at him.

“Bubbles?” 

“Powerpuff Girls? Did you grow up uncultured?” He raised a brow at your lack of knowledge of the cartoon. 

“I was only allowed to watch educational stuff as a kid.” 

“It shows.” 

“HEY!” You playfully punched his arm and flipped him off as a deep chuckle emanated from him. This was going to be an entertaining semester for sure.

The semester rolled along, like a slow cross country train ride. Throughout it you and Felix grew closer, much to the chagrin of your friends Lia and Yeji who had said the boy was “bad news”. You didn’t understand how they could judge him without knowing him like you did, how could anyone with such a beautiful smile be “bad news”. Sure he had some bad habits like sneaking a flask into the library for your study sessions, but could you blame him? Statistics would drive anyone to drink unless they were a math wizard like Pythagoras or Einstein. 

“Y/N are you texting him again?” Yeji groaned as she flitted about styling your hair for the party she insisted you attend with her and the other girls from the music group she and Lia were in. It was at the Sigma Kappa Zeta fraternity and you knew Felix was a brother of the frat, so regardless of your girls you always had an in. This though, was a secret from your dear friends as they had prejudged Felix and you didn’t want them to suddenly change their minds so they had an excuse to party.

“Yeah we have that project remember? Plus he was showing me this funny video from that one guy I like on instagram.” You fibbed. This seemed to satisfy her as you two finished getting ready for the ride to the frat house. Lia met you two in front of the dorm and your ride was outside just as you left. You were in for a good night, you could feel it in your bones.

Unfortunately for you, your bones were wrong. The stench of alcohol, weed, and body odor hit your nose like a freight train, you had lost your friends upon entering and Felix was nowhere to be found. One of his frat brothers, Hyunjin had saddled up to you as you made your way to the kitchen for a drink. 

“You’re Felix’s girl right?”He asked as he poured you a vodka and cola...very heavy on the vodka. Concerningly so actually You made a mental note to never ask him to bartend for you again, lest you want a new liver by twenty-five. 

“Oh no we’re just friends, we have a Stats class together, 101 with Professor Park.” You replied sipping on your drink and grimacing at the overly pungent taste of the cheap liquor in it. 

“Oh duh you’re Bubbles then! He always talks about how obnoxious you can be, he asked me once how anyone can be so… I shouldn’t have said that. Don’t-don’t listen to me,disregard anything I just said! I'm wasted.” Unfortunately for the panicking dark haired boy, you were not wasted. You were far too sober for this. Obnoxious? You? You were used to being sometimes a bit too extraverted for some peoples’ tastes but obnoxious? That stung. 

“Heh. No worries Hyunjin, I'll see you around.” With that the boy left. You stayed in the kitchen as your body went into autopilot, you downed your drink then snatched the vodka bottle up before wandering through the crowd to the back porch to find a corner to hide in. You didn’t know why you chose to chase the bile like feeling in your chest down with alcohol. You didn’t usually cope with your emotions in this manner. You were level headed, a marketing student, someone who dabbled with psychology courses for fun, someone who was the advice giver to her friends. Not someone who chose to use unhealthy coping mechanisms. But here you were bottle in hand walking to the porch to sip away the pain. 

“Y/N? Bubbles? What are you doing?” The Aussie you had been searching for before had somehow found you. His voice was riddled with concern, laughable amounts of it in your mind. How could a friend find you obnoxious but then act so caring? Friend, the word now made you almost nauseous. Fuck friends, fuck Felix, you thought. All you wanted was to be numb and alone. 

“Trying to not be obnoxious or something I don’t fucking know.” You grumbled taking a long swig of the liquor from the bottle. You didn’t even grimace this time as the taste had grown too familiar to you. 

“What’s that supposed to mean? Who upset you? Why the fuck are you chugging vodka like water? Who hurt you? I’ll kick their ass!” He barraged you with questions as he tried to slip down to sit beside you and take the bottle out of your hands. You fought back and held the bottle close to you, eventually he gave up seeing that you clearly were unwilling to let go of your vice. He was worried and he just wanted to see what was wrong. An uncomfortable silence filled the space between you two for a moment, until you cleared your throat and turned toward him with an unsettlingly dark look in your eyes.

“Felix, tell me why one of your frat brothers told me not even like twenty minutes ago that you found me obnoxious. Apparently you’re always talking about it. Fuck, the girls were right I should’ve just stayed your project partner and not your friend.” You hissed out and tried to stand, but the large amount of booze in your system made you stumble and nearly fall over like an unstable desk ornament.

“You’re not about to walk away from me in your condition in the middle of this conversation Y/N.”

“Fine then I’ll— I’ll fucking crawl away just leave me alone and find my friends for me. My actual friends who like me and don’t tell their friends I’m fucking obnoxious, too much, too loud, too happy, too bubbly, too ugh whatever you told your friends I’m too much of. Just. Leave. Me. The. FUCK. Alone.” The bite in your words made Felix physically flinch. He had never seen you so angry, especially not at him. You were usually so kind and uplifting to those you met. Not so, so aggressive. It hurt him to see your Y/E/C eyes, all tearful and rage filled. The beautiful eyes he was so used to seeing filled with unbridled happiness. 

“Okay, I’ll-I’ll go. Please just promise me one day you’ll allow me the chance to explain myself to you.” He pleaded, his head hung low, tears filling his own gaze. You have a noncommittal affirmation and he went off finding Yeji and Lia. While you clung to your knees with cries wracking your body, Felix was facing the wrath of the music group you knew as your best friends. 

Yeji, Lia, Ryujin, Chaeryeong, and the newest addition Yuna all glowered at him from the couch as he explained you had gotten mad at him over a mistaken confession he had made when you two had just met. He had not experienced such unbridled happiness from one person before you stepped into his world and he was unsure how to feel. He had chosen his usual method of brisk dismissal and annoyance when discussing you to the frat members those weeks ago. But over the course of the past month or so you had wormed your way into his heart and he had grown fond of your random animal facts, boisterous laughter, and bright sun rivaling smiles. 

“Lee, you fucked up and she was correct in saying we warned her about you. Remember you broke our other friend, Heejin’s heart? You lead her on. You’re not about to do that to our Y/N. She’s our angel, and you sir are some demon for hurting her now. We’ll let you try to make it up to her but I swear to all that is holy if you don’t, you’re fucking dead.” Yeji’s voice carried over the bass that was shaking the house, her voice shook Felix to his very core. “Don’t expect any help from us, ITZY protects our friends, and Y/N is our best friend. Girls go get our baby. I know she needs you right now, I’ll call the uber. Lee Felix you go fess up to Chan and the boys that you fucked up.” She gave Felix a dismissal with her hand and collected you along with the girls in a tight hug. She had her own plan, she was going to recruit her other friend Lily and their mutual friend Soobin into a “Get Y/N over Felix” plan. She had detested the Australian for leading her friend Heejin on the previous fall. She hadn’t known though that it was honestly just an unrequited crush on Heejin’s part and that the Aussie and the other girl had made up. She was so focused on playing the role of mother to her friends she forgot sometimes to look past the details of the story as it was on the page, she didn’t read between the lines. What she witnessed had to be the truth, right?

The days after the party felt like you were in limbo, you had emailed your professors that you had a family emergency and would be out for the subsequent week. Thankfully they all were accommodating and gave you the materials to study in your absence. Felix hadn’t called or texted regarding your project which soon would be having its mid semester check on your progress. You had done your share and emailed him your part so he could work off of your work, you had practically done all you could to avoid him. But now it felt like you were doing too much, caring too much about someone who you had misjudged as someone who was more caring than their hard outer shell. You had read between the lines of who he was a bit too deeply, you had looked to find some sort of positive in someone who had portrayed himself as harsh and cold. Maybe he was just that, cold, uncaring, harsh, a liar. Yeah that’s what he was, a liar, an expert one at that.

You were lounging in your misery of stuffed animals and rewatches of Legally Blonde as Yeji, the girls, and your newer friend Lily barged into your room. 

“Go away girls, leave me to my misery and Elle Woods’ slaying the courtroom!” You groaned out into your pillow.

“Bitch if you don’t get your ass up! You have a date, no don’t give me that face you need some socialization.” Yeji pulled you out of bed and shoved you into the shower before you could protest. Two hours later your hair and makeup were done, you were dressed in a nice cropped sweater, jeans, and boots and shoved out the door to your demise date.

At the campus coffee shop with your favorite iced chai latte in hand sat Soobin. He was a fellow music marketing student and student musician you’d met through the girls. He was someone you’d known in passing, an acquaintance, not someone you expected yourself on a blind date with. But here you were, laughing at his jokes, cooing over photos of his pet hedgehog Odi and enjoying yourself in his company. It felt like getting to know an old friend from years gone by, not like a first date. But you knew in your heart feelings were unlikely to develop. You felt too platonic, too friendly, not flirty, flushed, not like a swarm of butterflies resided in your stomach. You didn’t feel like you did when Felix would offer to rest his jacket across your shoulders when the cold air conditioning of the library would kick on. 

As you sat on your couch talking with Yeji you came to the realization of why it hurt so bad to find out Felix has shit talked you. You liked Felix. His freckles, his smile that would take over his whole face, his blunt sarcastic sense of humor, his playful jabs, his affectionate teasing, you adored it all. 

“Yeji, don’t tell the others please but… I realize why I was so messed up over what happened at Sig Kap.”

“You liked him didn’t you?” She saw your eyes well up with tears as your head fell in what you could only describe as shame. 

“Not just like, I think I fell for him.” She only gave her best sullen smile as she walked across the living room to engulf you in a hug as tears fell like a torrential storm down your cheeks. She softly assured you that you would move on, like you always did when you fought the overwhelming urge to sink into your bed and not get out for days due to the weight of the world crushing your soul. You were strong, but love seemed to fight like a heavyweight champ, hitting you with blows left and right. Chaeryeong walked out of her room as the sound of a broken croak of tearful lament came from you. 

“Y/N baby girl what happened? Did he say something wrong again?” The other girl sat on your left and wrapped her arms around you effectively making you the saddest sandwich ever seen.

“Yeji… I think I really love Felix. I think that’s why I’m so hurt, I owe him a chance to explain himself to me. He looked like bad news but he was the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. I’ve had time to think about it all and I can’t just shut him out, it hurts worse than it helps.” Yeji froze, her comforting hand that had been rubbing your arm ceased, her heart tightened with a sense of urgency. You loved the man that effectively shattered one of her friend’s hearts. You deserved to know what he was like. You NEEDED to know. Before you let him back in, before he broke you more. 

“Y/N did I ever explain why I don’t like Felix?” You shook your head as it rested on her shoulder, her comforting hand resumed rubbing your arm in an almost motherly way. “Remember Heejin? My friend from my hip hop class? They used to talk, like last year. He was like how he was with you, romantic, kind, and sweet. But one day he just drops this bomb. He only saw her as a friend, he lead her on for like ever, they almost made out at the date party SKZ hosted last winter. She was messed up over it for a long time. I don’t want him hurting you more. Also Soobin really liked your date. Did you have a good time?” Her explanation stunned you that you didn’t even register the topic change. Felix was a player. You always picked the wrong guys. You had fallen for an act, a ploy to probably get into your pants and be left in the dust. That’s probably all it was. You shook your head from your spiral of misery and looked over at your friend as she playfully nudged you to encourage you to discuss the date she masterfully put together.

“Soobin was sweet, and really cute! But it felt more like a friendship than a potential relationship. I didn’t really see it going anywhere. On the bright side I think he’s going to make a great friend.” You sighed and sunk more into the couch. The overwhelming urge to cry came over you once again as Chaeryeong and Yeji hugged you tighter and cuddled you. They gently played with your hair and cooed comforting words to you trying to ease the stabbing pain in your chest.

Meanwhile at the SKZ house Chan was consoling a devastated Felix. Weeks had passed and the only word from you he would receive was an email with your slides from your project and some notes on the materials. You had gone from the girl he would destroy a city for to a stranger. It hurt him beyond words, your playful teasing and bubbly affirmations were ripped from his life so abruptly it was like his organs had been ripped out. 

“Chan I fucking love her, I didn’t realize until I lost her. Her friends only see me as a player because of the whole Heejin thing. I wish Heejin just explained that we’re cool now so I have a chance at winning my Bubbles back.” Chan nodded solemnly. 

“I know Lix, I hope she lets you explain soon I hate seeing you like this.”

Jisung overheard the conversation and had an idea, he walked over, bending down he whispered it to Chan with an expression that just screamed that he was some kind of love genius. “Han, that is so stupid it might just work.” Chan called a meeting for the five other house residents to join them at the couches. Operation Y/Nlix was in motion.

As night fell you sat in bed once again sadly watching Legally Blonde. You were about ready to recite the perm monologue as a loud thud of something hitting your window startled you. Going over to gaze out you couldn’t believe your eyes. Out on your apartment complex lawn stood all eight SKZ house residents holding up signs reading Y/N please hear Felix out! We beg! Felix held up his own sign, I know I’m an ass, just one chance please. Once they noticed you were looking at them Changbin cued up a speaker and I Want You Back by the Jackson 5 began blaring out for the whole neighborhood to hear. The girls all piled into your room and gave you the affirmative to go talk to him. You raced down the stairs to run over to the dancing and singing men. 

“Fine! Five Minutes.”

“Y/N uh shit I didn’t think this would work. Okay so I had been having a rough day just after we met and I couldn’t understand how someone could have so much energy and be just so positive all of the time. Your adorable ways of finding some good in everything honestly scared me. That’s why I’d ranted about you. I’m sorry.” He clutched your hands and had tears swelling up in his brown eyes, you gave him a nod and a small sad smile. 

“That doesn’t explain why you never told me about the Heejin situation. Ya know considering I have several mutual friends with her.” 

“Heejin and I talked things out in the spring, she liked me more than I liked her. We discussed how it was a whole misunderstanding.” He paused at your raised brow and doubtful expression. ���I’m being serious, it was really a one sided crush and her being genuinely hurt. I understand that finding out someone you liked not liking you back really sucks and how she felt led on. I apologized and we’re cool now, she and I aren’t friends but we’re not enemies either.”

“Mkay I’ll take your word for it for now, you have some work to do to earn my trust back but I’m willing to give you a second chance.” His lanky arms engulfed you and he began rocking you side to side his laugh and smile warmed your heart once again. You knew he would have you falling for him all over again, and the thought didn’t scare you like it used to. It didn’t terrify you, it filled you with hope that your happy ending may actually exist this time around. 

The cool autumnal air began to make you shiver as the seasons changed, the semester’s end was closing in as the days flew by. The warmth of summer’s end was something you yearned for as you pulled your jacket closer to your body, your steps increased in speed as you made your way to the cafe you had met Soobin at previously. He had asked you on another date, one you had thought would be another friendly hang out. What you didn’t seem to realize was that your cheerful disposition had enamored the tall, bespectacled boy. He saw you as a radiant, angelic, hilarious, and of course beautiful girl. Someone whose mission it was to make those around her always happy. His analysis of you wasn’t incorrect by any means, however you were not reciprocative of his feelings. 

To you Soobin was sweet and adorable. His catlike smile, cute laugh, and goofy personality made you feel like he was someone you could be comfortable around. His energy was fairly similar to yours in a way that made you feel like you’d met yourself but as a boy. This made catching feelings for him a challenge for you, so alas Soobin’s crush on you was unrequited. Today, he was going to confess, so he had asked you to join him for coffee.

“Oh Soobin you didn’t have to buy my coffee for me!” You admonished as you sat across from him at the campus coffee shop. The pastel wall decor seemed to give you an angelic glow as he shyly smiled at you. 

“Of course I did angel! I invited you here after all! Now I have something I need to tell you.” You nodded and took a sip of the caramel flavored latte he had picked for you. You let out a soft sigh at the warm feeling it put in your chest after the cold air had frozen your bones during your walk. “Y/N, I-I like you um a lot. You’re beautiful, kind, funny, a wonderful listener, a genuinely wonderful person. I was wondering if I could get the chance to take you on an actual date?” His warm eyes reflected his desire for an affirmation that you reciprocated his emotions. 

“Oh wow Soobin I. I don’t know what to say. You are a wonderful guy, I genuinely do like your friendship a lot! You are someone I like being around. But, I just don’t see you the same way, I’m sorry.” You hung your head down apologetically and looked over to him to make sure he was okay. He nodded and gave you a half smile showing his dimples. You reached across the table for his hands and took them in yours. “I hope we can still be friends! I really like being your friend!” He smiled and nodded at that. You two stood and the tall boy wrapped you in a warm embrace. 

“I would love to still be your friend Y/Nnie you are so sweet.”

Meanwhile outside the cafe stood Felix, his dark attire reflecting the darkness that poured into his heart. He saw the way your face nuzzled into the taller male’s chest and how the pair of you seemed to clutch the other’s clothing to get closer. Who was the boy in the glasses? Why were you hugging him like that? Why did he get to hold you? Why were you smiling up at him like that? Why wasn’t it him? 

Felix’s inner turmoil began to swell as he watched the exchange, he couldn’t tear his eyes away as you and the taller boy interacted so happily. As you pulled away from Soobin your eyes locked with the brooding male’s through the cafe glass. Your eyes widened in surprise as the Australian visibly sighed and began to walk away, his head held low. You quickly excused yourself and bolted after the boy calling his name. 

“Felix! FELIX! WAIT!” His steps only seemed to grow faster as he marched away. Panic began to creep into your mind as you picked up the pace. You grabbed his shoulder and yanked him to a halt via his jacket. His eyes grew steely as he looked at you. 

“Did you just ditch your new boyfriend for me? Not a good look Y/N.” He grumbled as he tried to peel your grip off of him.

“Boyfriend? Huh? Felix, that's Soobin. Ya know? He’s a friend of the girls?” You tilted your head in confusion and scoffed lightly at his conclusion.

“You two looked awfully close. That’s all I’m saying Y/N.” His hair shook and his eyes grew cold and harsh as he cocked his head toward you.

“You almost always never call me by my first name what’s going on with you?” Your eyes grew pleading and you began to wring your hands anxiously as you silently begged for an explanation.

“Y/N, you offered me a very public second chance, then not even a week later I am seeing you acting like another man’s girlfriend. I thought I made it clear to you-” He cut himself off, shaking his head and scuffing the toe of his black combat boot against the ground. He let out a heavy sorrow filled sigh and slowly began to walk away. “Forget it. I’m happy for you, I’ll see you in stats.” Before he could step away your hands caught his wrist and you tugged him toward you. 

“Made what clear to me Felix? You’re jumping to conclusions like it’s an Olympic sport here! I’m confused.” You looked at him, your eyes swimming with hurt and confusion. With Felix everything felt one step forward, five steps back. You never seemed to move past the hurt you both felt from the party incident.

“Y/N don’t. Don’t do this.” His voice was barely a murmur.

“Do what Felix?”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“Say what Felix don’t play games with me.” Your voice grew laced with agitation and annoyance. He wasn’t like this what was going on? Who was this aggravated almost gangster like boy you knew as your friend? Why was he sad yet angry? 

“Please don’t make me admit how fucking in love with you I am.” With that you grabbed his face and pulled him into a heavy tear soaked kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck as one of his hands found its home holding your waist and the other cupped your cheek. Your lips danced against one another as soft giggles and smiles made the kiss grow more playful. 

“You didn’t think I loved you too Grumpy Pants?” You teased as he sneakily tried to grope your butt with his hand. “Aye paws off the goods mister!” You laughed. 

“Well I clearly wasn’t thinking correctly seeing as you basically just swept me off my feet Bubbles.” He poked your cheek and wrapped his arms around you swaying you side to side gently. The cold autumnal air made you shiver slightly. 

“Y/N! Glad to see you found your person!” Soobin cut into your moment as he called from the cafe doorway. Your cheeks grew flushed as you hid your face into Felix’s neck. The boy just laughed and gave Soobin a nod as an acknowledgment. The next thing you knew your phone in your pocket began buzzing like a swarm of bees as your friends were all informed by the tall dark haired male of what happened. Felix encouraged you to check the texts. The only one that jumped out was Heejin on instagram wishing you well, she said she was happy that you as a mutual friend of hers found happiness. She also said she wanted you and Felix to find happiness together. It was sweet and you sent along your thanks.

The rest of the messages were just congratulatory ones from the SKZ boys and ITZY girls. As well as some teasing from both groups to not make them uncles and aunts any time soon. A smile graced your lips and you tilted your head as to give Felix another chaste kiss. 

“My place or yours baby?” You whispered into his ear. 

“For what angel?” He smirked thinking you were implying a rendezvous.

“Snuggles, video games, avoiding our project, and some snacking! What else?” You laughed as you saw a blush creep across his cheeks. “Oh you pervert! You wanted to hook up? At least ask me to be your girlfriend and buy me dinner first!” You bopped his shoulder and acted all scandalized which made Felix grow even more red faced and he sputtered out apologies mixed with deflections as to not make a scene. 

“Baby! Baby! Okay let’s go get dinner and I’ll get you some flowers and ask you the right way!” 

“Hmph. Fine!”

“Bubbles?”

“Yeah Grumpy Pants?”

“I love you!”

“I love you too! Now come on!!!! I want a penguin plushie and my flowers! Did you know penguins propose with rocks?”

“Your lack of good TV as a kid is showing.”

“HEY!” You both bursted into laughter, ear-to-ear grins stretched across your faces as you looked into one another’s eyes with pure adoration.

All was well, except for the fact that the two of you still had to do math work and not get distracted by your infatuation with the other. But, that’s tomorrow’s problem now isn’t it?

[aberrant-winter]

Hi there, trust you are having great Monday morning. I'm a victim of abuse from my grandmother and dad, I don't want to go too much into detail, as it's highly triggering, i worked on getting some evidence to press charge against them(going well so far) but i need to move out of the house of my abusers as soon as possible and seek justice. I need all the help i can get (please see my pinned post for my frequently updated "beg-post"). I beseech(beg of) you to donate towards my moving/getting justice if you can. Also, if you can, please consider boosting my pinned post (a detailed beg-post)(if you have already seen my post somehow before now, there's been a recent development/progress)- that will help reach more potential helpers. please don't ignore me, please!. I'm open to suggestions/corrections, you can send an inbox/ direct message if you have concerns/questions, and i will answer in no time. Thank you for hearing me out.

Okay hello to you too

I can't donate any money but i will gladly reblog your pin post

Tho i would honestly like to know if you're legit because i've checked and it seems like you ask a lot of people and it's kind of suspicious (especially cuz they're all not popular blogs)

[mercurygguk]

make you mine; drabble #4

➵ summary; taehyung and hoseok know jungkook hates sharing, causing the sight that meets them one morning to shock them more than anything.

pairing; jungkook x f. reader

rating; G

wc; 1.2k

genre; slice of life au

warnings; none, slight comedy tho

a/n; fourth mym drabble🫢 i really love this one and the vibe of it so pls tell me what you think and make sure to reblog!! enjoy <3

The sweet, slightly burned scent of pancakes is what wakes up Taehyung on a Monday morning. Thankfully he doesn’t have any classes until noon so it doesn’t take long for him to get out of bed, heading out of his bedroom to see if there’s a pancake or two for him to eat as well.

He meets Hoseok in the hallway, that same curious glint in his eyes as they face each other. Hoseok was woken up by the scent of pancakes too.

Truth be told, their youngest roommate has been cooking an awful lot of pancakes lately – the main reason being the fact that he’s in love and pancakes happen to be his girlfriend’s favorite breakfast if there’s time for it.

Today seems like one of those days and Taehyung is thanking the gods above.

However, the sight that meets him when he enters the living room slash kitchen area of their 5-bedroom apartment has him halting in his steps. Hoseok bumps into him from behind, a grumbling ‘dude’ leaving him as he collects himself from the collision.

“Why did you stop? The pancakes are literally right there, man.”

Taehyung shushes him and points to the kitchen, muttering a low, “look.”

Hoseok peeps around Taehyung, following the line of his pointing finger. His eyes widen when he sees what caused Taehyung to stop in the middle of the living room. Right there by the kitchen island sits their roommate, shirtless with messy bed hair. Next to him sits his girlfriend of barely a month and a half.

The fact that she’s here and practically half naked is not the shocking part – no, the shocking part is the fact that she’s wearing Jungkook’s favorite hoodie and she’s eating strawberries off his plate. The worst part is that Jungkook doesn’t even swat her hand away, he just watches her with a lovesick, whipped smile on his face, laughing at her when she leans in and pecks his lips while also stealing another strawberry from his plate.

Jungkook is a man of many talents and qualities; however, sharing is not one of them. Taehyung and Hoseok’s youngest roommate hates sharing, like he absolutely hates it. You want to borrow a shirt? Forget about it, he won’t let you near his closet. You want to taste his food? Watch out, he’ll bite your hand off. Your booty call is sleeping in your bed and you don't want to sleep next to her? Too bad, it’s not Jungkook’s problem.

Sharing is not a word in Jungkook’s vocabulary and yet – there he is, letting her use his favorite hoodie and steal food off his plate.

Taehyung and Hoseok must still be asleep. There’s just no way this is reality.

“Alright, I gotta get dressed,” you speak before popping yet another strawberry from his plate into your mouth. Jungkook watches you as you jump off the bar stool, a small frown on his lips. You smile at him as you cup his face, leaning in to kiss his lips one more time before turning on your heel. Your smile widens when you spot Taehyung and Hoseok.

“Oh, morning, guys!”

They both smile awkwardly at you as you make your way towards Jungkook’s bedroom, still smiling at them as you pass by them on your way. Once you’re out of hearing reach, behind Jungkook’s closed door, Taehyung and Hoseok move out of their frozen spot by the couch.

“Dude, are you okay?”

The question rolls off Taehyung’s tongue before he can think about it, the tone of his voice sounding slightly worried as he plops down on the bar stool you were in previously.

Jungkook’s eyebrows knit together at his question, “what do you mean?”

Hoseok butts in, “oh, come on, can’t you see it? You’re letting her wear your hoodie, your favorite hoodie!”

The youngest shrugs, “so?”

“My god, you’re so fucking whipped,” Taehyung chuckles, “you never share anything with anyone.”

“What are you talking about? I share?” Jungkook frowns.

The exact same look Taehyung and Hoseok give Jungkook lets him know that they have a different opinion on that. But to be honest, Jungkook has no idea what they’re referring to. Jungkook knows how to share… right?

“Oh, yeah?” Hoseok scoffs, “remember last year when I ran out of clean hoodies and asked if I could borrow one of yours?”

Not a single sign of realization flashes over Jungkook’s face, causing Taehyung to sigh, “you went on a rant about how Hoseok ‘should learn to do the laundry once in a while’ instead of just borrowing him one of yours like everyone else would.”

“I’m-“ Jungkook tries to think of an excuse for that episode but nothing comes to mind. The only reason for him to not lend his friend a hoodie was the fact that Jungkook just didn’t want to lend his hoodie out.

Nothing more, nothing less.

“And there was that one time during freshman year where Jimin asked if he could have one of your fries,” Hoseok continued, a huffed laugh leaving him, “if only looks could kill… just saying.”

Jungkook sighs, “okay, fine, maybe I’m not big on sharing-“

“You don’t say.”

“Maybe?”

Taehyung and Hoseok mumble their responses under their breaths, just loud enough for Jungkook to hear them. He shoots them both a glare before continuing, “but what does that have to do with my girlfriend wearing my hoodie?”

“Nothing,” Taehyung shrugs, “other than the fact that you’re whipped for her and it’s disgusting to watch.”

Jungkook scoffs softly, taking a bite of his half-eaten pancakes, “are you sure you’re not just jealous?”

“Dude, you even let her eat your food- no one is ever allowed to eat from your plate,” Hoseok points out, gesturing to Jungkook’s breakfast. To prove his point, Hoseok tries to snatch a blueberry but he doesn’t get that far before Jungkook swats his hand away.

“Not if they like breathing,” Jungkook grumbles, glaring at Hoseok.

“And you just proved my point.”

Taehyung places a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder, giving it a friendly squeeze. “Listen, we’re happy for you but we’re not gonna lie… it’s kinda scary to watch.”

“What’s scary to watch?”

All three of the guys jump in their spots at the sound of your voice. Now fully dressed to head to class, you step closer to Jungkook, smiling when he automatically wraps his arm around you to pull you closer to his side.

“You’re changing our son, ____, and we’re worried,” Taehyung frowns, wiping away an imaginary tear. Next to you, Jungkook sighs deeply.

“They think it’s weird that I’m letting you wear my favorite hoodie and steal food off my plate,” he explains, “I usually don’t share.”

A soft ‘oh’ leaves you as you glance at your boyfriend’s roommates. They jut out their bottom lips in pouts but it doesn’t faze you. You know they’re not actually worried, they’re just shocked to see that Jungkook likes sharing with someone who’s not them.

“It’s called girlfriend privilege, guys,” you smirk softly. “Look it up.”

Jungkook tilts his head once before nodding in agreement, feeling bound to agree with the truth. His friends are telling the truth, sharing really isn’t Jungkook’s strongest quality but when it comes to you?

He’ll share everything.

“And we as roommates have no privilege?” Taehyung asks.

“Nope.”

Jungkook grins when his friends groan softly, shoulders slumping in defeat.

“We did make you guys some pancakes though,” you butt in, “they’re in the oven.”

“Oh, thank god.”

[mera-mann-kehne-laga]

I heard you complain that no one tells you the details about their day, so here.

I went to college, the lab was boring cause he was checking up on the assignment progress which is due on monday and as an engineering student, I refuse to work anytime before T-48 hours. Then i had a lecture, which only 10-15 students attended, LIKE WHY! ITS A NICE SUBJECT. But then i skipped that lab cause he was gonna solve doubts about something I was already done with. So i went to the ground, sat there for a while just staring at the sky, which I love doing and ate my dabba and came home. Called my mom, she told me all the gossip about her friends and now I am just laying on the bed eating oranges. Might make myself another cup of coffee.

How was your day?

Omg Di I LOVE YOU SO MUCH😭😭

Ohkk I didn't know u r studying engineering. Cool bhai! I love staring at the sky too <33 haaaye now I'm craving oranges too. I haven't had one maheeno se aaaahh

My day was okayish. Woke up late in the morning (8), tried studying pure din but mostly ended up scrolling, liking and reblogging here (and so I'm veeery guilty for wasting all that time). The entire day my head was throbbing with pain, neck and back were hurting baith baithkr. Talked with my long distance guy bestie after a long time and made plans to see the aurora lights together once we grow up and get a job haha. The bill is gonna be on me tho. He showed me pics of his puppy and I love them both so I was very happy. He scolded me for stressing for exams and threatened not to worry and take care of my health or else he'd never share his puppy's pics again so I promised him haha. Then in the evening I went for cycling about 3-4 Kms ki with a very sweet friend and also sat in the local park for a while talking, staring at the beautiful pinkish thoda cloudy sky and the beaauuutiful moon while my fav songs were being played in the park on the speakers haha. It was a great evening. Then I treated myself with a chota vala dairy milk bar. So overall I feel guilty for not studying but also feel happy about the evening and the peace it brought.

[angelplummie]

THEIR OPINIONS ON VEGANISM

stupid haikyuu boys head cannons that no one asked for <333

masterlist

OSAMU: feels entirely neutral to it, included some vegan options in his shop to increase sales

ATSUMU: actively complains about vegans LMAO doesn’t understand why anyone would go vegan/vegetarian, “why would you eat fake meat”

AKAASHI: big flexitarian, will avoid meat wherever he can, but if it’s easier he won’t cause a ruckus, plans to go vegan one day but he’s easing into it, only drinks oat milk, does it for the planet

BOKUTO: i’m going to shock some people and say this boy is a vegan! not only did he hear it’s better for you, he visited a farm one day as a publicity event with some kids and met a piglet and gave it its milk and never looked back since

KAGEYAMA: vegetarian. consumes dairy by the kilo but says that meat gives him an upset tum tum :(

SUGAWARA: Isn’t vegan but doesn’t eat meat on week days, shops at the farmers market and only buys meat from a bonafide butchers. has SO many mason jars. always looking for new vegan recipes!

ASAHI: are you kidding me?????? if this man isn’t a vegetarian oml he couldn’t hurt a fly. not judgemental at all, tho

TANAKA: meat eating menace. waves beef in asahi’s face even though he literally doesn’t care LMAO actually uses the phrase ‘rabbit food’ when referring to vegetables. changed his ways the very moment he hear kiyoko say she was thinking about doing meatless mondays HEKEJS

KUROO; oh my god another member of the vegan hate club. goes on about how annoying they are but if u tell him ur vegan he won’t shut up about it for the rest of ur friendship. “plants have feelings too” boy i will hit you rnt u supposed to be smart?????

LEV: butt chugs Yeager bombs but tells you that it’s unhealthy to have that little protein in ur diet.

USHIJIMA: another beefy vegan!!! never really was that passionate about meat or the taste, and when he watched a slaughter house video on IGTV he gave it up for good. Says he feels more energised now

IWAIZUMI: big vegan, would never go back even tho something in me tells me that he’s partially doing it to get that tough-but-sensitive boy image and get the edge on oikawa with the girls LMAO anyway his smoothies are excellent

OIKAWA: hmm this is tricky i’d have to say an avid oat milk consumer, not vegan. he’ll try vegan options in a restaurant, and throughly enjoy it. started trying it out because of iwa (much to his annoyance). it’s that or he’s the most annoying vegan u will ever meet. won’t stop talking about it for one second, thinks he’s better than you no doubt. “is that beef? i haven’t eaten beef since i was five 😆” ok homeboy didn’t ask

AONE: vegan full stop. has chicks (as in 🐥). insulted at the mere mention of chicken tenders. eats eggs but only because their from his chickens and he knows they’re looked after well. a bit holier-than-thou but we forgive him bc he’s happiest when he’s giving his feathered children their feed in the mornings before work :,)

Hey so this was entirely random and no one cares but came to mind and i ran with it. i am 100% right no one can dispute me don’t even try. as usual, reblogs appreciated! bye love you bye!!!

[catfever7]

I posted 693 times in 2022

344 posts created (50%)

349 posts reblogged (50%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@fatmaninalittlesuit

@pyretic-perfect-storm

@superchocolatecocoabear

@underthesewesternskies

@stephwantstofly

I tagged 689 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#random - 138 posts

#life - 94 posts

#iykyk - 92 posts

#anonymous questions - 88 posts

#music - 81 posts

#asked and answered - 80 posts

#personal - 74 posts

#lol - 72 posts

#spotify - 49 posts

#mood - 42 posts

Longest Tag: 117 characters

#city and colour is so fucking like i looooose it every time i decide to listen to their painfully perfect discography

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

So I officially received my offer letter and signed it and returned it. I start my new job Monday May 2nd.

I told my manager yesterday in our weekly one on one meeting. I have to send him my resignation letter/ two week notice letter today.

I'm so nervous about this and excited too.

I do like my current job, I like helping people (I sometimes don't like talking to all the people I have to talk to tho). So I'll miss many aspects and also working from home for almost two years.

New job will be in the office, Monday- Friday 8am - 5pm. The office is currently in downtown Portland, but it's expected to move out of downtown soon.

So I'm going to have a bit of a commute. I'll be waking up earlier. Getting home later.

Idk how this will impact my going to the gym either.

Butttt it's a really great job. A great team I get to work with. I get to keep all my current benefits (they roll over with me).

12 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

#4

I like how when you are getting ready to go to a new place and change your tinder to that location you are flooded with 100s of interested people.

I only have 1 pussy, I can't service 246 people in a 3 day period.

16 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

#3

That game tho 🔥🔥🔥

18 notes - Posted January 30, 2022

#2

NYE wishes and daydreams 🖤 #nye #letsgo2022 #drinkmeupppp #nyeoutfit #ilybaby #iloveyoulongtime #iykyk (at Oregon City, Oregon) https://www.instagram.com/p/CYK-O26lLX98k7g9mn3pPAbUtXRh5Ytmcm4a900/?utm_medium=tumblr

18 notes - Posted December 31, 2021

My #1 post of 2022

This morning was rough. I felt horrible...but I'm only here in SF for limited time SOOOO I showered ,got dressed and got some coffee at Starbucks and went out and explored.

Went to Golden Gate Park and it was better then I had imagined. I spent over 6 hours there and didn't really see nearly enough.

See the full post

19 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[mr-water-downer]

alright looks like I’m setting up a learning one shot for pf2e for 3, possibly 4, 5 at the maximum if people really are interested and I understand I’m posting this at 2am pst so I’ll probably reblog this in the morning when I get up

But it’ll be a back story light, classic dungeon crawl for level 5 characters, meant to get our feet wet.

I’ll probably host either Monday or Tuesday nights due to those being my days off but I can host during the day time on days I work provided it’s in the late afternoon, tho I’m definitely leaning towards late evenings after or close to me putting my bird asleep.

Message me if interested; edgelords, coomers, and people way too into politics need not apply, good vibes and basic respect and manners required

[clarionglass]

tagged by @dheiress to post the first line of my last 20 fics (thank you! <3)

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 other authors!

aight my lads here we go, there’s going to be a few unpublished wips and other piece of dubious writing in here bc i doubt i have 20 stories but anyway, here we go (this is very long! press j to skip or just get that dash scrollin bc this might take a while :// ) in very rough chronological order going backwards, starting with the published work:

1. so i ran to the river (tma grifters au, unpublished yet but will be soon!): The sunlight feels different on a face fresh out of prison, and it feels even better to Jonathan Sims now that he’s truly home.

2. crowned by an overture bold and beyond (tma pretentious college au, based loosely on the secret history):  It was a cool, rainy day in late March when I first approached the Magnus Institute--one of those days that served as a reminder that the London spring, that fragile creature, was still all too vulnerable to the occasional strike from the claws of winter.

3. we should ride this wave to shore (tma chatfic where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts): Friday, 3:14 P.M. “archives research & statement envestigation” Timothy Stoker renamed the group “drinks drinks drinks” Timothy Stoker changed Sasha James’s nickname to saucy sash Timothy Stoker changed Martin Blackwood’s nickname to martini kart Timothy Stoker changed his nickname to stonked stonked: so how bout it lads saucy sash: oh god.

4. i am the maker of rules (dealing with fools) (tma chatfic, an elias-and-peter-focused accompaniment to wsrtwts): Monday, 7:39 P.M. Elias Bouchard to Peter Lukas Elias Bouchard: Peter, I need to talk to you. Elias Bouchard: I’ve had the most infuriating day at work.

5. An Optimistic Tragedy (good omens orchestra au that i swear to god i’ll finish one day): Three years ago Eve shifted in her chair, her mind clearly on things other than Milhaud and the music in front of her.

6. The Spaces Between the Stars (the Beast of a dw fic that i can’t even begin to describe; a mate and i have been working on this since 2015 and it’s a sprawling mass of writing that encompasses Many google docs--what’s on ao3 atm is a very small percentage of it,,,,): The Doctor clutched the TARDIS railing as if somehow, it could take the pain away.

7. Carol of the Bells (a chrismas chatfic companion to aot! i’ve always been a sucker for a chatfic but oof looking back on this one my formatting style sure has changed): [Friday December 13, 1:31am] Anthony Crowley to Angelface: u up? ;)

8. An Exploration into The Nature of Human Beings, sub. Homo Sapiens: A Research Paper by Milton Jones (british comedy rpf. this is my oldest piece on ao3 and it shows, but there’s a special place in my heart for this dorky lil fic about an alien researcher making a place for himself in british comedy. fun fact! i actually added the final three sentences to this a couple of days ago, and will post it when i do my next fic update): <<I knew you’d be down here, as per usual. Do you never stop working?>>

and now for the stuff that i like but hasn’t yet/will never/one day, if i get my act together, might be posted to ao3... please ask me about these bc i love them, even though i’ll probably never post them :)

9. untitled mitchell spy comedy (a show that @monimolimnion​ and i want to pitch to the bbc in which david mitchell and victoria coren mitchell are married spies who work for MI5 and MI6 respectively, and most of britcom pops up in one place or another. it’s nothing more than a Lot of planning and a few snippets, but i love returning to this doc): [David is sitting at his desk, shaking his head at an open file.] David: They’re taking the piss. That’s what they’re doing, they’re taking the piss.

10. In the Demonic Style (a good omens au of @teashoesandhair’s glorious smooching contest piece, which is the first piece of fiction writing in the reblog chain. i’ve promised a chapter 2 to this, which i’m halfway through, and feel incredibly guilty for not finishing. still, my quarter-year’s resolution is to finish something old whenever i post something new, so maybe it’ll get done soon!): “It’s the end of the world” was not a good statement with which to start one’s morning in any circumstances, but the angel Bryndael was in the middle of cataloguing his newest shipment of tea samples when said statement reached his ears, and he didn’t much appreciate being disturbed.

11. magpie (good omens canon-mostly-compliant fic based around the song magpie by the unthanks/the magpie folk song/nursery rhyme): Wednesday (approximately 11 years before the end of the world) From a bird’s-eye view, St James’s Park was beautiful at this time of year.

12. untitled ficlet for tales of dwrwedd (a present for my writing buddy! the link is to her fic, i just wrote a bit of her two witcherverse ocs being soft as hell): The two women seated by the hearth didn't look old, either of them. But there was something about the pair--in their movements, or their mannerisms--that suggested an age far beyond what their unlined faces would suggest.

13: Tempo d’Attacco (an original bit of Light Crime a la midsomer murders, set in a university music department that is naturally a thinly-veiled copy of my own, hence why it will never ever be posted anywhere. i wrote this for my supervisor at the end of honours (her character is the sleuth) :P ) Dr Marisa Tan didn’t exactly start her morning well, on the day that everything seemed to upend itself.

patterns...... i’m not seeing that many, tbh? idk if i could call this in media res, but there’s certainly a good bit of plot starting without heaps of setup. 

my favourite? hmmmmmm i’d say my favourites would be crowned by an overture bold and beyond, and in the demonic style. i gotta say, going back to revisit a lot of my older writing has been nice! time and distance have been v kind :)

i’m hella bad at tagging things so if you see this and want to share your own writing please go ahead! i’m very shy when it comes to Fandom Interaction (tm) so i don’t feel comfortable launching myself into people’s notes (i loved this tho! i just need other people to make the first move lol), however i will give a specific shoutout to @monimolimnion whose writing i adore and who needs to do this!

[juhaku-inspired]

they moved an ice cream social + movie thing to tomorrow so now I have 3 hours of free time and tbh idk what to do with it

[iredreamer]

So around what time and why did the Ann(e)s stop having sex? Cuz I heard they stopped during their last years together?

Hey, I’ve not read much of Anne’s diary after 1837 so I can’t really answer you because I know just bits and pieces from 1837 onwards and I can’t really go into details. I can’t say for sure that they never had sex after a certain date and I don’t know if a specific reason is explicitly stated for it at one point in Anne’s diary (I did not come across it, yet).

From what I’ve read it seems that after their union and after Ann moved to Shibden, Anne focused her energy more on the estate and on the business than her love life. All I can add is that from 1835 onwards Ann Walker’s health was bad most of the time. There are a lot of entries where Anne Lister writes how poorly Ann Walker is, that she’s not feeling well etc. etc. I think this was one of the reasons why they had sex less frequently.

I’m just gonna quote some passages from Anne’s journal that I find interesting and maybe can help understand what their sex life was like after a certain period and why they did not have as much sex as before:

Sunday, 27 September 1835 > Attempt at a kiss last night. A-’s manner leading to it but she called out in the middle of it that she was too weak and I stopped immediately. [SH:7/ML/E/18/0104]

Sunday 8, November 1835 > No kiss. Tho A- rather on the amoroso last night but she had put on a napkin having a little of her cousin and I said kissing would be bad for her. [SH:7/ML/E/18/0126]

Tuesday 19, January 1836 > A tolerable kiss last night. Poor A– not disinclined meaning to be affectionate & we are all right. [SH:7/ML/E/18/0163]

Monday 25, April 1836 > No kiss. Tried to fondle her last night but she said she was sickish so gave over & went to sleep. [SH:7/ML/E/19/0032]

Wednesday 4, May 1836 > No kiss. A– very low. Had been crying for an hour before nine – then lay talking – she thought she could not make me happy, wrong to give me so much anxiety & make me unhappy & give so much trouble etc. etc. thought she ought to leave me – Oh Oh – thought I, but I took it very quietly & talked & reasoned with her gently & kindly but still shewing that if she really wished to leave me she would not find it difficult. She had got wrong in my absence, however she came right before we got up & owned the talk had done her good. [SH:7/ML/E/19/0038]

Thursday 2, June 1836 > No kiss. A- very low I heard her crying but took no notice. Did not seem to awake till eight. Thought I – we must be off. Kept her in bed talking gently. She took two pills last & did not like her getting up merely to be starved or not knowing what to do. [SH:7/ML/E/19/0053]

Tuesday 7, June 1836 > No kiss, but a very attempt at play last night & grubbling this morning – she owing it was not that she disliked it or that she did not like me but she thought it wrong. I did not say much but we should both be better & I could bring monsieur again it will end in our getting together again? [SH:7/ML/E/19/0055]

Tuesday 14, June 1836 > No kiss. Thought we should have had one last night. Got her to come to me but then she said it was too hot & begged off & thanked me for giving up! [SH:7/ML/E/19/0059]

Thursday 26, January 1837 > She came to me and we had a good kiss last night. [SH:7/ML/E/20/0014]

Saturday 29, January 1837 > She came to me and we had a good kiss last night. [SH:7/ML/E/20/0014]

Tuesday 28, February 1837 > She came to me & good & short kiss last night. [SH:7/ML/E/20/0027]

Sunday 5, March 1837 > A pretty good kiss last night. I finding A- quite in the humour awaked up for her. [SH:7/ML/E/20/0030]

Thursday 16, March 1837 > A long pretty good one last night. She coming to me. [SH:7/ML/E/20/0034]

Tuesday 28, March 1837 > Long tolerable one last night. A- quite affectionate – says the change of air & [brodies plaster?] have done her good. She was very irritable before, she says, & has said several times. Says she will have no more mysteries & seems intending to be good tempered & as she ought to be. Tho she says nothing, I think she is sensible of my having always kept my temper. [SH:7/ML/E/20/0039]

There are more passages like these in 1837 (having sex, not having sex because Ann wasn’t feeling well, etc.).

I’m pretty sure they didn’t have sex in 1840. I quickly skimmed through the whole year and I did not encounter the “Q” symbol on the margins, the symbol Anne used when recording a sexual encounter. Honestly I don’t know when was the last time they had sex, I should check 1838 & 1839 but it’s a lot of work and I don’t have time right now (this ask has been in my inbox for too long already).

As usual, if someone knows more or wants to elaborate on the matter, please reply/reblog!

Anyway, I’m gonna close with this because it makes me laugh lol:

Friday 14, April 1837 > Meant to have slept with her last night. Had a goodish kiss – she inclined – & was dropping asleep when she snored, so I could not sleep. Got up & went to my own bed at twelve & a half & was just comfortable when I thought I heard her at my door. Jumped up & asked who was there – no answer – stood with my father’s pistols in my hand till I was cold, then thought A- would be frightened if she awoke & found me gone so crept back to her but no sleep. She snored so at three therefore went back to the kitchen chamber & slept without awaking till eight. [SH:7/ML/E/20/0046]

EDIT: A kind anon sent me an ask with an extract from May 1838 transcribed by one of the Anne Lister Code Breakers on twitter. It looks like the Ann(e)s were still having sex during that time:

Friday 4, May 1838 > Good kiss last night.(…) pint of madeira for Ann and bottle of Claret for myself of which we respectively drank ½ and both Slept till 10 soon after when we went upstairs to bed – ate oranges – and dawdled over getting into bed – and had a pretty good kiss and then fell asleep. [SH:7/ML/E/21/0089 & SH:7/ML/E/21/0090]

[thegenderbinaryisalie]

I’ve been thinking a bit of the yt:er Chronically Jaquie today. Re-watched two of the latest videos on the channel. It’s weird. Been little over 3 years since she passed. they had just signed for their first house, from a hospital bed, had plans, was gonna have a garden for Harlow the service dog, and no stairs to take half an hour for Jaquie to scoot up or down on bad days, and she seemed to be doing better with what flare up had put her in hospital again.

i searched her tag on this site today. wanted to babble this in tags on a reblog but found no post that seemed fitting, a few that felt too long and the rest having 0-10 notes and that just seemed rude. A total of 3 posts newer than 2019. nothing like my dash today. but so be it. the impression people leave on the people that hear of them in life is not measured in notes.

in better news Jaquie’s fellow chronically ill youtuber friend is still alive and seems to be doing better judging by her recent video titles (her husband worse tho, didn’t even know he was chronically ill, and with the same as my childhood friend too). I had been been meaning to look her up for a bit but putting it of. decided now was the time this morning with half my breakfast left to eat and just having watched the techno video, knowing my tumblr dash would have many posts for processing that news when i got home from work. my stressfull work made me forget it for a bit, thought all my upset feeling was my works bad prep for the shut down microsoft did of their 2010 exchange server last monday.

[amindfulloffanfictions]

The (not so) blind date. Part 2.

So, this is my first fanfic :) I needed to post the 2nd part because i’m so excited with this y’all. Thank you very much for the reblogs and likes! It really warms my heart. <3 (After this im going to sleep cause I’m completely wrecked) 

So, here we have a Sebs’s point of view chapter! 

 I hope that everyone enjoy this. <3

Ps: English is not my first language, so, if you have any corrections about the grammar, or the coherence pretty please send them to me. <3

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Summary: Your, and Sebastian’s, love life is going down. Your friends are doing an impressive hard job to help you both keep going. Little did they knew that they were handling your faith with their own hands.

Words: 1.116

PART 1 

Sunday afternoon. (Sebastian POV)

 It’s been a while since he dated anyone. Almost half a year since the bunch of dates Anthony arranged him for. Every one of them went to hell, he had from gold diggers whit a particular interest on his money and his fame, to crazy ladies that just weren’t his type. So, of course, when his friend told him about a certain blind date that he might could have already arranged, his reaction was pretty much negative.

“No.”

“C’mon man! Just once in your life, listen to your magnifiscent friend… Th-that’s me by the way”

“Sorry Mackie, i’ve listened to you pretty much the last one hundred times, and every one of your little list of yours end up being a catastrophe, so i’m done listening to you” Sebastian said, with an angrily tone.

“Hey don’t get mad at me, it’s not my fault that these woman were non compos mentis... Look Stan, i’ve spent the last THREE FUCKING MONTHS looking for this cupid guy. “

“Who the hell is he tho?” Sebastian asked curiosly.

“I don’t know really, some say that he is the most reliable matchmaker in New York.”

“And how did you got his number?”

“I might have mentioned to Rudd’s assistant that you were, well, pretty lonely and he told me about a guy, who met the matchmaker in a gay bar on Singapour; this cupid guy knew this other guy who was in his honey- Wait.” Anthony stopped realising what his friend was not on purposely doing. “don’t make me dodge the subject Sebastian you’re going to this date” Sebastian rolled his eyes so much that could’ve rolled out of his head.

“Wait you arranged me with a guy?” he suddenly felt dizzed for all the – too much – information. He was lost. “I’m not dodging anything tho, you tangled your mind all by yourself buddy”

“No you moron!” Mackie yelled at his friend through his phone

“Sorry my head is a mess right now. I didn’t understand a single thing”

“Well it doesn’t matter now!” Anthony was so done. “the thing is, this match-cupid-maker guy found this girl who’s currently living in New York. And she is happy to have a blind date with you.” Sebastian could hear his friend gasping for air.

“Okay, it’s fine, You know what? I’m so done with this conversation that i’m going to give in and met this woman, just so you can be out of my ass for at least a week” He said, really tired of the subject.

“That’s awesome Stan. That’s wonderful. You don’t know how glad I am to hear that.” Mackie said with an excited tone in his voice

“Yeah yeah” he said, nonchalant.

“I swear to you, my friend, that if this doesn’t go well i’m not bothering you again. BUT i have a feeling that this girl’s gonna steal your heart”

“Oh god I hope you’re right.” Anxiety starting to crawl upon Sebastian’s gut.

“In no time you will be hearing a big ‘I TOLD YOU SO’ from me. Don’t worry”

“Bye Mackie” He ended the call after his friend said goodbye.

‘Oh this is a bad idea’ Sebastian thought to himself. His anxiety growing stronger every time he thought about it. But the true was that Mackie was right. Sebastian was feeling very lonely. Not that he didn’t had love in his life. His family, his friends and his fans… they always supported him no matter what. But the need he was feeling was for something else entirely. Another kind of love. He needed someone to come home to.

His Sunday went on pretty much like always, boring. Trying to avoid the little voice in his head telling him that the date was going to suck, Sebastian looked for some entertainment, that is to say, he spent the rest of the day binge watching Marvel’s movies. Thor’s to be exact.

Monday morning arrived. Sebastian went to Don’s gym around 10 am, worked out a little bit, to clear his mind and hang with his gym buddies. After that he went to the nearest restaurant to get some lunch. As he was waiting for his order, his mind couldn’t stop thinking about all the ways the date could go wrong. That was his anxiety working. He didn’t knew why, it just happen from time to time. One day he was feeling the most confident guy in the world but then his worries about life came fearcefully, kicking him in the nuts. But he knew he had to do it. He knew he had to meet you. At the same time he wandered if you truly wanted to date him, because lets face it, dating a celebrity, dating him, is hard work. And he wasn’t sure if you could handle it. Not only you but every one for that matter. He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the blonde barista talking to him.

“You okay down there?” She asked putting down Sebastian’s order in his table.

“Yes, i’m sorry, I was far down in my thoughts”

“I see” she said, sitting on the chair in front of him “so what’s on your mind?”

Sebastian doubted a little about telling this stranger lady his heart acking problems, but something on her face told him that she might have the right word for him to hear “well, i’m having a hard time finding some conviction about something. Y-know, I- I have this date, this blind date to be accurate, and my head keeps spining about going or not. I really don’t know what to do. I – I’m sorry…. Lorna..” Sebastian said looking at her badge “am I saying too much? You shouldn’t care… I´m sorry”

The barista looked at him with a tiny grin on her face. “Don’t worry, it’s not a problem, we actualy are non-titled psicoanalysts” she joked “…sometimes is hard to take on actions… but once you let yourself out of your house it’s easier somehow… just, don’t worry about it too much, i’m sure a good looking face like yours won’t get stood up” Sebastian giggled at Lorna’s subtle flirt.

“Thanks Lorna.” He said with a genuine smile on his face

“Your welcome sir, anytime” she smiled back and left.

The waitress’s words sounded so true in his head, and gave him the confidence boost he needed. The next thing he does is grabb his phone and send a text to Mackie.

“Hey Mack, contact your cupid guy and ask him if she can meet me at Carmine’s Italian, Friday at 8. 😉”

Anthony’s response got to his phone in no time.

“My maaaaan, you wont regret it. 😉”  

The End <3 

@papi-chulo-bucky @fearsynergy @making-chocolate-pudding <3 

[bloodanddiscoballs]

so my chronic pain got the better of me and it'll probably be done tomorrow evening! I'll probably still post it then tho and just schedule a boosting reblog for Monday morning and then wait to post it to Twitter until Monday morning too. ArtStation doesn't seem to matter what time you post so I'll post it to there tomorrow evening too

HALF👏🏽WAY👏🏽DONE👏🏽WITH👏🏽THE👏🏽BACK👏🏽

I just gotta do the outlining around the words on the back and then I'm DONE

[weneverfreeze]

Sydney. My dear. I will love you forever if you write samnat for one of those au prompts you just reblogged (im feeling 1, 6, or 7 for them, but really any prompt is fine 😄😄)

Okay sorry this is late Mercedes! This didn’t get a reread, just so you know, and I started writing the ending at around 1 AM and it’s 4:30 (lolol it’s 4:47 now) in the morning right now, so yeah:

1.  I’m sleeping over at my friend’s flat from university after study group and just got woken up in the middle of the night by their roommate, who is sitting in the kitchen, listening very loudly to the dirty dancing soundtrack and crying. Like wtf, I didn’t even know they had a roommate and normally I would yell at you but damn you are cute. You really need to stop tho dude, its 4am, some people in this house want to sleep AU

6. We work out at the same gym and you are my declared rival because we have the same workout routine and you are always better than me and on my way to the locker room I passed you in the shower where you were singing the opening of hannah montana and I can still hear you and you switched to the lion king now and even though I hate you I think I am kind of in love with you AU

7. I’m hiding in the bathroom of a restaurant from a spectacularly awful tinder date and you are in a similar situation because a guy at the bar just won’t stop hitting on you and now we are planning an epic escape together even though we only met ten minutes ago AU

WC: 5747

There are two gyms on campus. Two gyms for nearly 40,000 people, so it stands to reason that you’d run into people very rarely. Two gyms, 40,000 people, seven days in a week, fourteen hours give or take each day when they’re open, four floors of exercise equipment and courts and weights and two pools per gym. This isn’t even factoring in her work schedule or classes, but somehow Natasha’s managed to run into this asshole every single time she goes to the gym. Out of both gyms and all the rooms and all the possible exercise routines. Every single time.

The first time she thought maybe it was just coincidence. It happens now and then of course, that someone comes in and has a similar routine to the one she’s perfected over the last six years. Last time it was Clint though, and that was first semester sophomore year, and that was only because Nat asked him. He’d complained the entire time about how hockey’s enough exercise for the both of them, and Nat I’m going to mess up my legs or my arms or my nose, okay, you remember how I got a concussion swimming. Clint came with maybe four times before deciding to do yoga by himself.

Since then Natasha had been alone in her workout routine. Thirty minutes on the bike, thirty doing weights, and thirty on the thigh machine downstairs on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Saturday’s for lazy laps in the pool when she isn’t making burritos at Chipotle. Her routine is simple and easy. In and out within 90 minutes.

But this asshole. Showing up all cocky and self-important. He’s been mirroring her pretty consistently the last month or so. At first it wasn’t that noticeable—he’s cute, maybe, in that sweaty sort of athletic way that she won’t pretend not to like, but she’s dated girls and guys like that before, so—just another body on the bikes a little down the row, or another person curling dumbbells, or another guy waiting for a weight machine.

Then it started being a thing. Nat had glanced over week 1.5 of this whatever-it-is at the same time he had, and they shared a nod and went back to biking. He seemed like an asshole even then. It was something, she figured, to do with how he wore cologne even when working out.

Then, week 2, it had been a very full Wednesday, and the only bikes were right next to each other. He was definitely looking at the display on her machine and she’d never tell Clint or Maria that that was the reason she was walking a little stiffly for three days afterward, because she definitely hadn’t been going a little faster than she should have been and checking his display as well.

Weeks 3 and 4 had been more of the same, except at week 3.5 she’d realized what exactly is so asshole-y about him: he doesn’t sweat, and he bikes further and can lift more than she can. (She’s better overall on the thigh machine, thank you, hockey.) Natasha would be over here straining to go up one last hill while he’d be pedalling easy as anything, scrolling through some article on his phone.

Natasha had been hoping when she walked in today that he wouldn’t be here, but no such luck, and he’d taken the machine she favors. She glances to her left; he catches her look, and raises his water bottle in an obnoxious salute. Inwardly she flips him off.

Only five minutes in. She readjusts her headphones. Five minutes in. She can do this.

The men’s and women’s locker rooms share a wall. Through numerous, painful post-workout showers, Natasha’s determined that unfortunately the wall must be dividing the shower sections of both locker rooms; someone’s been having a field day singing show tunes and pop music and rapping while she’s in the shower.

The variety, she thinks as hangs up her towel, is pretty impressive. Today the singer’s belting out Best of Both Worlds from Hannah Montana.

It’s not unpleasant today, which is surprising. The singer’s voice goes oddly well with the theme song.

The singer switches to Circle of Life. She joins in and they sing together until the water goes cold.

(It goes cold after six minutes.)

New Text Message

Clintyyy: Takeout?

Me: You’re buying

Clintyyy: Hey now, no

Clintyyy: It’s your turn

Me: Don’t make me bring up Budapest again

Me: You owe me

Clintyyy: ….fine

Me: Good

Clintyyy: Preference?

Me: Anything but tacos

Me: Chipotle has me sick of tacos

Me: You’ve never known true taco hatred until even just the smell makes you want to throw ingredients everywhere

Clintyyy: Please tell me you did not do that

Me: (read at 7:39)

Clintyyy: Tasha?

Me: (read at 7:43)

Clintyyy: We gotta pay rent still you’ve got a job right

Me: Of course I do

Clintyyy: Don’t do that to me

Clint’s got fried rice, lo mein, and crab rangoon waiting on TV trays in the living room when she shoulders through the doorway. Or, limps through; she’d done too much on the thigh machine again today, which she’s pretty sure Asshole Guy had noticed. Light from NCIS flickers over his face as he raises an eyebrow. A noodle is hanging out of his mouth.

“Don’t tell Steve,” she says. She plunks down next to him on the couch, pokes his thigh until he gives her more room.

He says, “That’d be embarrassing for you,” and she glares until he raises his hands in surrender. “I won’t, fine; just don’t kill me, okay?”

“Who am I gonna get to rent with me next year if I didn’t have you?” She opens the fried rice and quirks a smile and he bumps his shoulder against hers.

They’ve rented together for two years now after Natasha’s freshman year roommate gave her a photo album of her sleeping at the end of the first semester. She’d spent the majority of spring semester staying over at Clint’s room, which worked out nicely because Clint’s roommate Steve’s just about the nicest most stubborn guy she’s ever met, and he’d only asked them once if they were dating (they weren’t). Most other people have a look that says I don’t believe you when they say they’ve been friends as long as they’ve known each other, but Steve had just nodded and gone back to sketching his calculator.

“We should live with Steve next year,” she says, thinking; it’s October now, if they get a move on they should be able to get a nice place. She steals a bite of noodle from Clint’s container.

Clint pulls a face, but he holds the container closer to her. Nat offers the fried rice in return. “Nah, I’m good.”

She smiles. “To the rice or to Steve?”

He pretends to think about it, stroking an imaginary beard, and she leans into his side and waits. Onscreen Gibbs slaps Tony upside the head again.

“Both,” Clint says. She makes a face. “Kidding. Steve’s rooming with someone next year, they’ve really hit it off, so.” He tilts his head to the side like he’s deliberating and adds, “Or not kidding really, because that kid wheezes so much when he tries to sleep. Snores like you wouldn’t believe.”

“I was there, remember?” she says with a smile, checking the crab rangoon. “Do you want the last one or shall I?”

Clint waves it toward her and says, “What song today?”

She’s been keeping him updated on the gym since he refuses to go. He knows all about The Asshole and The Song Guy. He’s convinced that there’s a love story in the making between the three of them, but since she threatened him (half-jokingly) with a spatula, he’s been keeping that to himself.

“Circle of Life.”

Clint nods and shrugs appreciatively. “Good choice.”

She says, yawning, “Better than the week of Thrift Shop.”

“You love Thrift Shop.”

He starts playing with her hair and it’s so soothing she almost drifts off.

“I do,” she murmurs, yawning again—it feels really very nice—and curling closer. Clint unfolds the blanket along the top of the couch and pulls it over them. “That’s why it was so bad. He didn’t know all the words.”

Clint says something like “Neither do you” but she’s just about asleep now and doesn’t really hear him. Or at least, that’s what she’ll say if he mentions it in the morning.

New Text Message

1-347-867-5309: Hey Nat! Do you wanna study together Saturday?

Me: Who is this

1-347-867-5309: Steve

Me: Ohh right right

1-347-867-5309: You didn’t know it was me did you

Me: Of course I did

Me: I know everything

Steve: Sure

Steve: You’d think that

Steve: Since, y’know, we’re friends and all

Steve: You’d save my phone number

Me: Don’t be offended

Me: I’ve been friends with Clint for fifteen years and I only saved his number since coming to college

Steve: I guess that helps

Steve: Maybe

Steve: Not really. Anyway: study with me?

Me: Worried for the test?

Steve: A little

Me: Me too

Me: Where/what time?

Steve: My apartment? I’m off work at three, so four?

Me: Sounds good

Steve: See ya then

Asshole Guy isn’t there today. Today she’s got her machine again and the world is at peace once more.

To be fair, it’s Tuesday. She never knew for sure, but she strongly suspects Asshole Guy only works out Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, like her. But this week Fury has her working the night shift on the line, so Friday’s workout’s cancelled.

She probably shouldn’t be in today. Her inner thigh is still sore. Steve would kill her if he knew she was straining it—he’s a history and art double major, but, since his dad’s a trainer, he knows a fair amount of things. Including the fact that pushing a hurt muscle is a terrible idea.

Natasha knows that too, though, and it’s starting to hurt more than it had, so she sighs and lets the weights down gently.

“You alright?”

She whips around, ready with a snappy retort for another dude bro trying to tell her how to do her workout. It dies in her throat. Two gyms, 40,000 people, seven days in a week, fourteen hours, an entirely different day, no less, and yet.

It doesn’t help that The Asshole has nice eyes this close. He clears his throat, and that’s when she realizes he’s wearing the khaki pants, blue shirt, and red backpack of a student trainer. He says, “It’s Tuesday. You don’t usually—I mean, this isn’t your max weight, and you usually lift longer than this.”

He’s been watching. Nat raises an eyebrow. “Observant.”

“Part of the job,” he says. His cologne is sharply out of place with all the sweat in the air.

“You work here.” She regrets it the moment she says it; his eyebrows shoot straight up, then settle again. Of course he works here. No one wears khakis to a gym.

Instead of answering he plucks at the hem of his shirt and moves on. “Are you okay? I have to ask when someone lets the weights down like that.”

“Didn’t realize they were that loud,” she says, to have something to say. “I’m fine. Little sore from yesterday.”

The Asshole sets his backpack down and kneels to sort through it, all the while asking about her hydration and whether or not she’s eaten and you know, you’ve gotta rest between these kinds of things, you can’t do the same exercises back to back and expect to be totally fine.

This rubs her wrong. “My work schedule’s different this week,” she snaps. “I’m not an idiot.”

“Sorry,” he says mildly. He hops back to his feet holding a blue crinkly something. Natasha glares up at him and he holds his hands up before saying, “I know you’re not an idiot, just needed to say that. Job description and all that.”

She’s got her arms folded, so when he tosses the crinkly something at her she’s completely unprepared. It bounces off her elbow before she catches it, somehow, on the rebound. It’s a Nutrigrain bar. She stares at him.

The Asshole rubs the back of his neck and says, “It’s blueberry, not too bad if you—I dunno, if you eat that sort of thing.”

“Thanks…?”

“Sam,” he says, starting to walk away.

She says “Natasha” and Sam smiles and walks out of the weight room.

There is a profound silence from the men’s locker room. Today the water stays warm for exactly eight minutes before threatening to crystalize on her skin.

When she’s dry, she squeezes her hair with the towel and dresses. The Nutrigrain wrapper’s in her pocket when Nat pulls on her jeans. She’s not sure, really, why she’s still holding onto it.

New Text Message

Steve: Hey were you working out today? At the Heli?

Me: Yeah, why?

Steve: No reason

Steve: (Steve sent an emoji)

Me: The halo’s not reassuring Rogers

Steve:

Early Wednesday morning she wakes up in Clint’s arms while Tangled plays for the third or fiftieth time. Squinting, she looks up to see that Clint’s awake and bedheaded as ever; she’s still not sure if he styles his hair like that intentionally or if, thanks to the innumerable naps he takes, that’s just the way his hair grows.

She pulls the blanket over her more and Clint starts. “Sorry,” he whispers, grabbing for the remote. He mutes the TV (Rapunzel and Flynn are just about to be trapped in the mine) and Nat closes her eyes again.

“S’okay,” she says sleepily. “How long’ve you been awake?”

“Somewhere around Flynn finding the tower.” He stretches carefully, rests his arm around her again. “You were saying something about Sam? In your sleep.”

“Mmm. No.”

“I think so. Fell asleep with my hearing aids in, so.”

“Your hair’s stupid” is all she says. He lightly pulls on one of her curls, and they drift off again.

Steve has to poke her six times to stay awake in lecture around noon. She’s lucky to have him there; Clint would’ve let her sleep and drawn mustaches on her with Sharpie. It’s especially important to be awake today because they’re reviewing for the exam, and she’s got a 93% right now and this test could solidify or jeopardize that A.

That doesn’t mean she’s not leaning on Steve right now. She’s lucky she’s on her left because she’s right handed, and even though he is as well he’s not the type to complain when he’s helping someone. Plus his right arm is ever-so-slightly more muscular than his left, so it’s somewhat more comfortable to lean against.

He’s really bulked up in the last two years; freshman year Nat used to be able to fit his wrist between her forefinger and thumb. Not so much now. He has a Russian pen pal according to Clint—kept in touch since they were five apparently—and they’ve been FaceTiming and working out together. She and Clint aren’t really sure what exercises they’ve been doing—or how you can work out with someone over FaceTime—but it’s working for Steve at least; they’ve doubled their efforts to get him on their hockey team.

Steve pokes her again as Professor Stark rambles on about medical experimentation during World War II.

“I’m awake,” she says. Their redheaded neighbor, Pepper, hushes them, and Nat sticks her tongue out at her. Quieter: “I’m awake.”

“I know,” Steve says, “you snore.”

“Hey!”

“Shh!”

Steve holds up a hand to stop either of them from saying anything. He whispers, “Did you meet Sam? At the Heli?”

Natasha stares at him. “How’d you know that?” Their prof changes the slide and she hurriedly copies down the information.

“He told me,” Steve says. “Ran into a redhead on the weights, said it wasn’t abnormal but for the fact that you don’t work out Tuesdays.”

“I don’t, it’s be—”

“Because of work, yeah.”

Nat worries her bottom lip. “You know him.”

“From high school,” Steve says. He nudges her and winks when she glances up. “He’s a good guy.”

She elbows him back, but she’s blushing a little. “You can’t be too sure. He wears cologne to the gym.”

Steve throws his head back and laughs so loudly that Stark stumbles over his lecture and stares, aghast.

“Excuse me, in the back; do you find this subject funny?”

Steve’s really doing an admirable job of biting back his laugh, she can almost see it straining to chime out. He hangs his head in the model of a subdued and solemn student. “Of course not, Professor.”

Stark narrows his eyes and resumes his lecture, casting dark looks at them from time to time. Steve whispers, “Cologne? Really?” and Natasha barely stops herself from laughing too.

Clint leans in her doorway while she ties her sneakers. “C’mon, Tasha.”

“I go to the gym on Wednesdays,” she says, sighing a little when she stands; her inner thigh muscles still hurt from yesterday.

What Natasha means is, Sam goes to the gym on Wednesday. She’s been thinking about him almost all day. She got on the wrong bus this morning because she was trying to remember the shade of his eyes. She’s even—it hurts to admit this, even to herself—she’s even bought him a blueberry Nutrigrain bar.

Clint knows her well enough and is, in general, smart enough to hear what she isn’t saying. “I get that, believe me I do, but. You’ve gotta rest up. You can go back to kicking butt and showing off next week if you want, or Saturday, but you’ve gotta rest.”

If she had enough momentum, she’d be ducking under his arm and in the hallway and on her way. Clint catches her stare and shifts into a more solid stance, the one that makes him look intimidating in his hockey gear but right now makes him look bedheaded and earnest and like her best friend.

Nat says, “I don’t really wanna go, but I do,” and Clint smiles with half of his mouth.

He looks up and runs a hand along the doorframe like it’s the most fascinating thing, still smiling like it’s just for her. “Wanna get out?”

“Where?”

“Dunno,” he says, and shrugs.

Their university does movies for free at the Union, so that’s where they go. Every Wednesday through Saturday at 9 PM whoever’s in charge of the videos cycles through blockbusters that came out earlier in the year, usually on a few month’s delay. It’s always very energetic; the room seats 150 people, give or take, and that many college kids in a room tend to laugh and talk to the screen now and then in very audible whispers.

It’s Moana tonight. Natasha buys the popcorn and Clint does the butter and salt in an easy routine that they’ve established over the last decade and a half, one born from Natasha having a job and but sense of what to do with butter and Clint not having a job but the amazing ability, somehow, to properly flavor even the vaguely cardboard-y popcorn served outside the theatre.

She’s checking his work—flawless, as always; he can’t seem to miss the mark—when he says, “Oh, hey Steve.”

Clint takes the popcorn back, which is good because she almost drops it. Steve smirks at her but she barely sees him; Sam’s leather jacket is filling up her field of view.

“Hey Clint, Nat,” Steve says. “Nat, I think you know Sam?” Nat glares at him and he shrugs in an I’m sorry kind of way, which would’ve been fine if his eyes weren’t plainly amused.

Sam says, “We’ve met. How’re your thighs?”

Clint makes a noise that sounds like he’s got popcorn stuck in his throat at that. “Her thighs?” Steve doubles over, laughing a little breathlessly.

“Fine,” Nat says, ignoring Clint and Steve, but it’s okay because she and Sam have both gone red now. “Just. Taking a day off. Rest day.”

“Good, good,” Sam says. He’s wearing what Natasha thinks is his my best friend is an idiot expression; she recognizes it because she makes the same face about Clint.

She looks at them—they’re not paying attention anymore, Clint’s showing Steve something on his phone—and then back at Sam and says, halfway between annoyed and flustered, “Wanna find a seat?”

And he says, “Absolutely,” and they sit next to each other and, in the dark, she imagines that this is, maybe, a date. A daydream ruined when Clint and Steve stumble over them to get to their own seats and spill Steve’s drink all over the floor, flooding over the tops of their shoes and making the floor obnoxiously sticky when they shift their feet.

New Text Message

Steve: yknow tht Sam liks you

Me: Are you drunk?

Steve: cant get drunk rmmber

Steve: scince

Me: That’s not how science works

Me: Are you okay? Do we need to come get you?

Steve: nahhhhh

Steve: mfine. got Sam

(Steve added Clintyyy to the chat.)

Steve: CLINT tell her

Clintyyy: What’s with the caps man?

Steve: phone bein weird

Steve: does that

Me: Are you sure you’re fine?

Steve: i am not Sam he’s in lov

Steve: *live

Steve: *lpbe

Clintyyy: We got you

Steve: you knoe what I mean

Me: He’s drunk

Steve: mnot

Me: Like Budapest all over again

Clintyyy: Ah the memories

Natasha has twelve missed calls from Steve when she wakes up. She checks through them, straining to separate the synth in the background from Steve’s slurred speech, and makes a mental note to make Steve the DD from now on. Boy can’t handle his alcohol very well.

She also has a series of quick texts from a number she doesn’t recognize, and she smiles when she sees them: Got him home safe, don’t worry. Got your number from his phone. Don’t forget to hydrate.

Clint walks with her to the bus stop, very blatantly reading over her shoulder. She lets him. “‘Don’t forget to hydrate’?” he says, one eyebrow raised.

Nat just shrugs and shows her ID to the busdriver. Clint follows behind her. He wants to ask something, she can tell, so she waits and leans the back of her head against the window. He pokes a hole in the knee of her jeans.

The bus slows to a stop by the main lawn five minutes later and they get up, sling backpacks over tired shoulders. Nat’s class is a little bit of a walk from the stop but Clint’s is in one of the old buildings ringing the lawn, so they hug and go on their way.

But he’s running after her a beat later, and he asks, winded (he should, she thinks, probably come with her to the gym), “You like him?”

“Maybe,” she tells him.

Clint studies her with the certainty and ease that comes from knowing someone for awhile. “You do,” he says, like he’s found something worth finding.

She says, “Yeah,” and they smile at each other.

New Text Message

Clintyyy: Still up for it?

Steve: Yessss

Me: Why not

Loud, overly flirtatious and forward drunk frat guys. That’s why not.

Thirsty Thursday is always a little over-the-top, but somehow, today, it’s one hundred percent worse; they’ve walked the entirety of College Ave. looking for a bar that wasn’t overflowing but still quality. There are approximately seven different bars within feasible walking distance—that is, within the distance that a still somewhat hungover Steve, an exercise-loath Clint, and a Natasha in relatively high heels would be willing to walk to. Seven bars for 40,000 students, maybe only half of whom can (legally) drink, maybe only half of that half who don’t have classes Fridays and would be out around this time. And, apparently, all of those students are tipsy frat guys.

They don’t say anything to her, per se, never do, but they’d said things to each other about her when she and Steve and Clint walk by, and once was enough for her to dislike them on principle.

The three of them had planned for eight. Eight was a dumb idea, evidently, because the bars they would have no trouble getting into Monday through Wednesday at eight o’clock are filled with lines a block long.

“Should we just call it?” Clint asks in frustration. They’re at the sixth bar on the list.

Nat shakes her head. “Let’s try the next one. We’re out, we’re cute, we may as well. And I really have to pee.”

“Well said,” Steve says.

The seventh bar is called The Triskelion for reasons Natasha hadn’t cared to ask about. The logo is the same curving lines as her boss’ tattoo, and Fury never struck her as the type of person to welcome questions about it, so she’d shelved her curiosity.

It’s a little, low lit dingy place with graffitied walls and peeling paint. But the bar is clean and so are the tables, and there aren’t as many frat guys here—there’s a few other people at the bar and one or two couples who seem to be on dates, but no Greek letters—, so Nat thinks it’s perfect.

“What can I get you all?” the bartender asks.

Natasha looks and Clint and says, “Surprise me,” and heads off to find the bathroom.

“I got you,” Clint calls. She raises a hand to say she heard.

It’s surprisingly clean, the bathroom. It’s unisex, so there are urinals and stalls, but there isn’t as much pee everywhere as she’d expected for Thirsty Thursday. She’s washing her hands when the door slams open.

“—right back,” someone says, talking to someone outside, and then: “Shit fuck.”

Nat glances to the door and immediately wishes she was back at the bar. “Hey, Sam.”

He smiles weakly, rubbing the back of his neck. “How you doing?”

“Fine. You alright?”

“You, uh. Heard that, then?” Sam says flatly. She nods, waits. He sighs. “It’s my date.”

Now she really wishes she was back at the bar. The sentence bounces around her head a moment before settling uncomfortably on her stomach.

She says, “Sorry,” and pinches off bits of her paper towel.

“Yeah. Don’t know what I was expecting, it’s just,” he says, and now he throws up his hands, “everything’s gone wrong, she told me that I was ‘just the sweetest thing’ and ‘so soft’ and that I remind her of her dead chocolate lab, and she didn’t answer if I asked if it was because I’m black. I mean, I was kidding, but not now, clearly.”

“She sounds interesting,” Nat says carefully. “I’m sorry.”

“‘Interesting’ is a little milder than I’m thinking,” he says. “It’s my fault really, it’s Tinder and I was gonna call it off, but she sounded so sad in the messages.”

“What’re you gonna do?”

Sam looks around the bathroom and says sheepishly, “I was going to pop open the window, actually. But there isn’t one. So.”

“I’m sorry,” Nat says. On an impulse she takes his hand and squeezes it. “You can do this. It only has to be a one-time thing.”

He squeezes her hand back. “I’ll try.”

New Text Message

Me: Abort

Nutrigrain Bar: What happened? Are you okay?

Me: Frat guy at the bar hitting on me

Me: buying me a drink npw

Me: Steve and Clint in bathroom

Nutrigrain Bar: One sec

“Hold on, I gotta tell Clint and Steve, they worry,” Nat says a little breathlessly, leaning against the brick wall of the library. Sam starts to back away but she catches his jacket sleeve as a sort of tether. She sends her text one-handed and pulls him closer, and the second kiss is as nice as the first, and the third is better.

New Text Message

Nutrigrain Bar: I had a very, very nice time last night

Me: Me too

Me: It’d be a shame if

Me: You know

Nutrigrain Bar: If it happened again?

Me: Exactly

Nutrigrain Bar: Well

Nutrigrain Bar: We’ve always got out standing date at the gym

Me: That’s a good start

Nutrigrain Bar: Well hopefully we’ll have a good middle too

New Text Message

Stevie: Told ya

Me: I know

Stevie: For the record

Me: I knowwww

Stevie: ;)

Me: Shut up

“Details,” Clint says, his arm a dead weight around her shoulder; they’re both still feeling last night.

The NCIS opening credits play, but they’ve got the sound off. This is one of Clint’s favorite things to do, sit around and read the lips of the actors on TV shows. Nat’s favorite part is when he gets bored of it and starts making up his own lines.

She tucks her knees close to her chest and leans closer to Clint. He mumbles Gibbs’ line, “Grab your gear,” and she says, “Doesn’t count.”

“Does so.”

“He says it,” and here she yawns, “every episode.”

Clint tugs on her sleeve. “It counts. It’s like the free space in Bingo.”

“Gonna pretend you didn’t say that, Barton.”

“Gonna pretend you aren’t dodging the question, Romanova.”

“You didn’t,” she says, yawning again, “ask me anything.”

“Don’t be a McGoofus, McGee” is what Clint says next. Then: “Fine. Details?”

Remembering it gives her goosebumps. She smiles. “About?”

Clint groans and buries his face in a cushion while she laughs harder than she would normally. His voice is muffled as he says, “The kiss, Tasha, the kissing, the Frenching, snogging, whatever.”

“You mean like, how was it?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“Tongue?”

“Maybe.”

New Text Message

Steviesteviestevie: Okay I’m presentable now

Steviesteviestevie: Are you almost here?

Me: Just got off the bus

Me: Be there in 5

Steve flings the door open wide and drapes himself against it, saying, “Welcome to my humble abode.”

He’s ridiculous. “You’re always so dramatic,” Nat says, laughing in spite of herself. She crosses the threshold and Steve closes the door behind her.

She’s never been in Steve’s apartment before. It’s about what she would’ve expected for a student on a college budget: small living room with a small TV and bookcase, small kitchen, small bathroom with a corner of the mirror missing. A hallway leads off the living room and has three doors, one being the bathroom, one Steve’s room, and then a closet, maybe.

He spread out cool ranch Doritos and Oreos and lemonade on the counter. After handing her a (paper) plate, Steve piles huge handfuls of the Doritos onto his own plate and sits.

The Doritos are now half empty. “You should’ve just taken the bag,” Nat comments. She deliberates for a second and then just takes the Oreo tray to the table.

“There’s time,” Steve says. “We’ve got a lot of studying to do.”

Nat plunks her notes and books onto the table. “That we do.”

Two hours later, Natasha hits the wall.

Thirty minutes after that, Clint texts her about an NHL game, so she commandeers Steve’s TV and watches that. Steve abandons his homework and joins her on the couch and they yell at a few missed calls, and she finally gets him to agree to join her and Clint’s team (thereby allowing her to win a twenty dollar bet).

Around nine, a Mythbusters marathon starts. Natasha and Steve have a competition to see who can stack and eat the most Oreo filling. Steve wins, but only because his mouth his bigger.

At ten Steve’s Russian pen pal FaceTimes him, and, after exchanging hellos in Russian, Steve introduces him to Nat. Steve’s pen pal has long hair and the unlikely name of ‘Bucky’ and is surprised when Natasha takes to him exclusively in Russian.

Sometime after that Natasha’s alone on the couch, and while the Mythbusters team blows stuff up onscreen, she falls asleep.

She hears it and holds a pillow over her head in sheer stubborn refusal to be awake. When she moves, her arm threatens to fall off; sleeping on the couch never really works out for her unless she sleeps on someone.

The lights are off in the apartment. Careful to keep her ears covered, she peeks at the TV and sees that someone turned it off. The singing’s coming from the kitchen, then. If she focuses extremely hard she can just make out the pitch on the voice, and from what she knows from several painful karaoke nights, Steve’s voice isn’t this nice to listen to. Even if it’s waking her up at—she checks the clock on the bookcase—four in the morning. She blearily considers the possibility that Steve’s being robbed.

Whoever’s singing (a musical burglar?) is getting into it. Their words filter through the pillow now: “Just remember, you’re the one thing I can’t get enough of”.

That’s it. She throws the pillow across the room and storms into the kitchen.

“What the hell are you—” That’s when she sees Sam.

He stops midword in surprise. “Nat?” he says, uncertain. “Why’re you here?”

She crosses her arms. “Why’re you here?”

“I asked first,” he says, yawning.

“Studying.”

He says, “Sleeping.”

This more than anything annoys her. “Trying to,” she says pointedly. “Was sleeping.”

It seems to take him a moment to put together what she’s saying. “Oh. Sorry.”

“Your turn.”

“I live here?” He raps his knuckles on the back of a chair.

She’s not awake enough for this. “Here?”

“Steve and I are roommates,” Sam says.

“I thought—” she yawns “—thought he lived alone.”

Sam says, in a tone too bright for this time of morning, “Nope.”

“Why Dirty Dancing in the kitchen? Can’t you practice in, I don’t know, the car? The shower?”

Sam looks at her oddly. “Yeah,” he says. “I do,” and this time it’s Nat who takes a moment to understand what he’s saying.

And then she puts it together. “The gym.”

He nods, smiling slightly. “Thought you knew.”

“No,” she says, rubbing her eyes. It’s too early for this.

“Shame.” He looks very determinedly at the ceiling. “I was trying to woo you.”

She laughs. “Through the shower.”

“Wasn’t sure what else to do,” Sam says, shrugging. But he’s smiling, and she thinks that maybe she’s found something worth finding.

“You’re an idiot,” Nat says.

He says, hopeful, “That mean it worked?”

“Maybe,” she says.

New Text Message

Me: Made it back fine, thanks for asking

Nutrigrain Bar: Good :)

Me: And it worked

Me: How’s Wednesday?